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SUNDAY S LAUGH

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Begin this week with a giggle or two

I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but
thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep. If I do not return your call,
you are one of the changes."

~~~~~

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

~~~~~

(I LOVE THIS ONE! )

My wife and I had words,
But I didn't get to use mine.

~~~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
(amen to THIS one!!)

~~~~~

The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your
way around, you're not going anywhere.

~~~~~

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an
answer for her first question.

~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder
to find one.
(yep...understand this one too!)

~~~~~

Man comes home, finds his wife with his best friend in bed. He shoots
his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!"

*********************

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are
pregnant.

*********************

Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she had missed one, my mom fainted,
dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.

*********************

A woman asks a man who is traveling with six children, "Are all these
kids yours?"
The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these are
customer complaints".

*********************

A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident
and confidential?"
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there is also my son, that's confidential."

*********************
Nominated as the best short joke this year..
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied..
LOVE
LISE
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