OK, this is what has been on my mind lately and it may or not make sense to you.
After I had my babies 13 and 15 yrs ago I seemed to level out at around in 190 lb range. Even though I was severley obese, that is the weight I was comfortable at, emotionally. When I would start getting over 200, I was able to buckle down and get myself back in the 190's.... but whenever I would dip into the 180's and even a few times into the upper 170's I would be loving the weightloss, but in a weird way I felt uncomfortable. I loved the compliments I got, but the attention made me a bit uneasy. It was like I was changing (for the better) but like I was becoming someone "different".... physically and mentally (lifestyle change) and I wasn't able to deal with that. For 13 years I wasn't able to break out of that comfort zone.
It took a tremendous amount of physical pain at 200+ lbs for me to finally break out of that comfort zone. And it WAS uncomfortable.... I loved the compliments and the way my body was transforming, and the way I was feeling physically, but just feeling like I was "changing" really kind of bothered me. Even though I *am* the same person..... I have changed and I *am* different than what I was at 209 lbs. It is all for the better, I am completley convinced of that, but it was a hard process to go through.
OK.... well for the past almost 2 years I have been in the 140-150 lbs range. And I am finding myself fighting the same feelings. You see... now I am used to myself and comfortable here in the 140's. Even though I know am still overweight and need to lose more--- I NEED to get into the 120-130 range. I no longer look at myself and think "WOW what a difference! You look amazing." I am saying... "you are so close.... why can't you dig in and finish the weightloss journey and work on maintence?"
Once I hit 150, I buckle under and lose the weight to get back into the 140's. And the ONE time I dipped under 140 (this past October) I was feeling those same feelings of uneasiness as I did when I was severely obese and would finally get into the 180's.
I look at my pics that were taken last October when I was at my thinnest ever:
I love these pics and feel great about them! I am only about 12-14 lbs heavier right now and I KNOW I can lose it again.... I WANT to look like that again and even thinner! Last October when I looked like this, I was starting to get more compliments.... even from men! Not "hit on you" type of comments, just respectful comments about my weightloss and fitness. Why do I let stuff like that stand in my way???? That should help motivate me, not make me uncomfortable and send me into a binge! Yes, I am changing, but it is GOOD!!!!!
I am striving to get into a comfort zone of 120-130..... You know.... once I hit 130 lbs, that can be my "danger" number, my "oh crap!" number. The number where I stop the extra munching and increase the workouts a bit until I am back down in the 120 range.
I need to take my own advice..... Everybody always asks me HOW I lost my initial weight and I passionately tell them that more than anything else it is a MENTAL GAME that you have to win! I really believe that and I am going to remember that as I dig my heels in finally get into my new and final comfort zone. Not going to let it take 13 yrs this time!