Humor for all
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Subject: Who's Getting Old? Us or them?
Who's Getting Old? Us or them?
ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING??
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
(must have been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said they didn't have any, only splenda and sugar.)
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her
floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was
shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'(keep shuddering!!)
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
'Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I
can't get into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would
have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and
said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I
do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took
her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it
on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
Brunette, by the way!!
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had
eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the
kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the
mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02..In ahostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03.Noone expects you to run--anywhere.
04.Peoplecall at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"
05.People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06.Thereis nothing left to learn the hard way.
07.Things you buy now won't wear out.
08.Youcan eat supper at 5 PM.
09.You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10.Youget into heated arguments about pension plans.
11.Youno longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
?12.Youquit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13.You sing along with elevator music.
14.Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16.Yourjoints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17.Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18.Yoursupply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19.You can't remember who sent you this list.
20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.
Forward this to every one you can remember right now!
Never, under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night