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ggles and my desire to change(301 to 52)

Sunday, January 22, 2012

My balanced self said "you do not want to write 2 blogs/wk" and my unbalanced self said "I AGREE!!!!!!!"

I completed chapter 1 of Full-Filled and although I have done this exercise before I think my level of self honesty and self exploration has taken a new height.

BL update: lost .1. I am doing better with my sun salutations!!! AND I did get 80 min of strength training in...without battling to get it done! AHHH relaxed intentions...they work!!!

These are the remaining questions that I had to address for Week 1

What are my symptoms..(ya gotta know what the problems are)
I am 30 pounds overweight I am barely 5' 2 and have a short waist
I wear the same 4 pairs of pants every week and the same jeans or khakis on Friday Of course I mix tops but I feel so “limited”
I have multiple sizes of clothes in my closet and a lot of them I do not like
I don’t like to attend functions where I have to dress up…..No clothes or at least cute clothes
I do not like shopping for clothes because usually what I like does not look good on me. It is hard enough shopping for petites. There are only a few stores that I can find nice pants that don’t participate in making me look frumpy.
Occasional knee pain.
Feelings of defeat/depression about the above
Just don’t feel attractive at times

Away From Motivation(ya gotta know what you don't want)
I want to move away from negative thoughts about myself
I want to move away from inactivity
I want to move away from rewarding myself with food
I want to move away from guilty feelings based on my food choice
I want to move away from the feelings of disgust when I look in the mirror
I want to move away from having clothes that I don't like and don't flatter
I want to move a way from extreme behavior!

What is my towards motivation:(ya gotta know what you DO want)
I want balance
I want to desire to move
I want to be comfortable seeing my flesh in the mirror
I want to look good in my clothes
I want to turn heads in my 50's
I want to be able to eat what I like mindfully
I want to attain and maintain my weight loss goal
I want energy, flexibility and strength
I want a social life(despite the finances)
I want to think about something other than my weight, food and the need to exercise
I want the confidence to know that I can achieve any goal that I set with time and patience

The dream( ya gotta see what you want to be)
I am 52 yrs old and I have lost 30 pounds. My friends and family are like OMG you look so good (yes there are those who are saying you need to gain some weight). My self confidence allows me to appreciate their accolades but does not lead me to sabotage my progress because of the not so positive comments. My mission now is to continue my self development track by trying new things in order see what it is that I really like. Because these tools are universal I am using these principles in every area of my life and others are drawn to me because they desire to be free from their struggles. I am that vessel; showing others how to break free from the chains that are confining them.
AHHHHH This feels so good!
Have a great week Family!!! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    LOVED reading this Blog today! With regards to having multiple sizes of clothing, I discarded everything that was too big as extra motivation to maintain current weight or lose more as a side benefit of fitness and good nutrition.

    The very best in making your "dream" a reality!! You are well on your way having the right attitude and resources.
    3281 days ago
    You are so smart and beautiful and articulate. You are going to make it happen. I can feel it right through my computer!
    3281 days ago
  • JBIRD85
    Great job! I especially like the part about having relaxed intentions (one of my biggest difficulties!).
    Lately I have been re-listening to the IOWL episodes on plateaus, which I guess would be what applies to me right now. I could get unstuck if I tried really hard, but I don't want it to be hard, I want to be relaxed and natural about it. I think that series (the plateau set specifically) is helpful for those who are "stuck", those who haven't lost all the weight that they think they should, or when the ultimate goal seems so far away.
    And don't pay too much attention to what other people say, whether it is positive or negative toward your appearance. How do you feel in your body? This is something I have to ask myself every day. Other people can see you, and maybe guess how you feel or should feel or look. But only you can know what is right for you. emoticon emoticon
    3282 days ago
    You have wonderful ambitions!
    I want to turn heads in my 70's....
    3284 days ago
    Girlfriend I read and I see myself in your blog. Funny how we can't see our positives in the way of our negatives. I have a few outfits I wear myself. Oh I have some nice clothes in the closetl....they just don't fit right now. I worked hard on me and last year let me go. So this is a fresh year and so far i'm on track to take care of me and reach my goals. Lets show um what a 50;s woman who is 5'1"and 5'2" do. lets give it heck.
    3284 days ago
    I hope you see what we see-a loving , inspiring and beautiful person!
    You will get to those weight goals!!! emoticon
    3285 days ago
    Great blog, you are a wonderful motivator and I think you are doing awesome!!!!!
    3286 days ago
  • KARENA228
    Hello Faithful leader!

    This is a very well thought out plan, not impossible to accomplish. You have insight into yourself and that's half the battle. Don't be so hard on yourself, just keep trying...

    3286 days ago
  • DIMI1124
    LOL that is my dream....the future! I am 51 and have all 30 of those pounds. But I will take the congrats in advance!!!
    3286 days ago
    30 pounds is so wonderful. Pat yourself on the back, Sparkgirl!
    You are motivating me! emoticon
    3286 days ago
  • NMMAMA2011
    Great blog post! 30 lbs is awesome. It makes a huge difference, but like you, I have more to go. When I get down about the more to go, I make myself focus on the weight I have lost and all the non-scale victories, like fitting into a airplane seat more comfortably and not having to ask for a plus size gown at the doctor's office. Remember that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL RIGHT NOW and you will only get more beautiful and confident as you work on your health.

    Have a beautiful Sunday!
    3286 days ago
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