do you ever feel you just don't belong?
Saturday, January 14, 2012
I always thought before it was just the weight...now the weight is gone and I still feel I don't belong. I have a hard time making friends. it is hard for me to let people in to see who I really am. I always feel I won't to good enough, smart enough keep my house well enough, cook good enough and the list goes on and on. I could always hide behind the weight. Anything I do I try to drag someone else into it. I don't care if its a painting class an exercise class or a financial class....but only the people in my family the ones who already know me and accept me. This week I signed up for a class and could not find any one to go with me........i hesitated and waited to the last minute to go. Why am I so afraid of people and there judging of me. This is nothing new, this has been going on my whole life. Well I survived I did go, I spoke very little words with anyone there and I'm sure that makes me look like I am a snob, but really I'm not I'm just intimidated by everyone over stupid stuff like I mentioned. Please how do I let go and let people really see me and accept they might not like me. I am a people pleaser and it bothers me. Does anyone else ever feel like this? I know this is not normal I think it has something to do with my upbringing, my sisters have the same problems of making friendships and it feels uncomfortable letting people from the outside in. I am from a large family. You would think it would be easy, I am the oldest. I really thought after losing all my weight I wouldn't have this problem. If you have any advice please share...thanks