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I'm back with a vengence! And, wondering how I let this happen.

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Well, Sparkies, its time to write that dreaded blog. The one that confesses a fall off the wagon. The one where I try to understand how I could go right back into old, unhealthy habits so easily. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did.
Where to start... One of my biggest motivators for losing the 40+ pounds was our family vacation to Disney. As our trip approached, I found myself being less and less dedicated to my healthy lifestyle. Back up to before the trip.. I quit my job and became an independent contractor with a bunch of new positions to juggle. So...STRESS!!!
Then, in November, I got pregnant. It ended in an early miscarriage. Having another was always the plan. So, as we got closer to trying to conceive, I got into the "this is not the time to worry about losing weight" mindset.
Then, Christmas hit. My holiday eating habits were absolutely disgusting! It was like I was involved in some kind of contest to see who could consume the most crap! It was horrible! I weighed myself before the holidays. I was only up 10lbs at that time. Last week, I was up 20:(! So, I am happy that I didn't gain ALL the weight back, but I definitely need to get it off again, then go even further toward my goal. We still want to have another baby, so, I'm hoping to lose the 20 that I put on before getting pregnant. Then, have a healthy pregnancy and finish my journey to a healthy weight after the baby is born.

So, on to happier news. I'm finding it easy to get back into healthier habits. And, that healthy person is who I want to be. I don't want to be the person who gorges herself on any morsel of food that comes along. I want to be in control and enjoy food in moderation. I want to be active. I want to be ok with seeing pictures of myself. My husband loves me unconditionally, but I want him to think I'm smokin' hot. I want my kids to be proud of me! I want to be able to shop in any store and not worry if they carry my size. I want to remember how gratifying it is to drop a pants size. I know I'll do it.. I know there will be bumps along the road, but I'll make it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CHRIAMARIA1983
    I have had 2 miscarriages so I know where you are coming from. It hurts-even though we have other little ones it still hurts. I'm glad that you are back to trying. Its not always easy, but at least you are trying.
    2904 days ago
  • WILDFIREKRISTIN
    I believe you can do this! I know how you feel my dear about the weight gain and sadly, about losing your child too. I, too, lost a child, my daughter Ashley. I am truly sorry for your loss!

    Stress and life have a way of dragging us down a path we don't want to go, so I am so glad to hear that you have kicked that path to the curb and are back to your healthy path. We can do this and together we are unstoppable!

    Hugs,

    K
    2932 days ago
  • MELLY3183
    so sorry to hear about your loss.

    I am glad you are back though. You can totally do this :)
    2937 days ago
  • MEWIEGELE
    I'm right here with you! I stepped away willingly to focus on school for about 6 months and WHOA! Bad choice I guess lol.

    I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your little one. My heart and prayers go out to you. Having 3 children myself (only 2 of which were in the "plan") I know that God will take care of you in all ways that you let and trust in him.

    Please call on me anytime you need support. I'm here for you and understand emoticon
    2937 days ago
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