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Sunday, January 01, 2012

I don't know about you but I am very happy to see the start of a new year. I am a huge believer that the only one responible for your happiness is yourself. I have not been tracking at all this past week but am proud to say that I was pretty good considering its the holidays. I tried really hard to watch my portion sizes and to try to be active. I am not focusing so much on wieght training or anything but on being active with m children. I want to play with my 4yr old without getting winded in the 1st 10 minutes. I was able to give that to Abby as I was in much better shape then but I was also 19 when she arrived. Talk about a huge energy difference lol. My sleep is still poor and learned last night that the next time Abby has a sleepover they need to sleep in her room not in the living room as I had no where to hang out. If I was downstairs I worried about waking the girls and when I would go back up to bed I worried that my tossing and turning was going to wake up Paul. Amazing how we women worry about everyone one but ourselves, at least I do heaven forbid I make lifestyle changes just for myself. I was unable to quit smoking until I had Abby at age 9 ask me why did I want to die on her and leave her alone and Paul at the same time telling me that he couldn't stay with me and watch me slowly kill myself. Sure I knew all the bad things that could happen but until I had the 2 most important people in my life tell me how it was hurting them did I care enough to quit. Now here I am 135 lbs overwieght and my reasons for now doing something about it is my kids. I want to play with my kids. We went ice skating last night which was the 1st time in about 9 yrs and I only lasted 10 minutes. I can't describe to you the pain I was in and how scared I was about causing myself a serious injury. It was Avery's 1st time ice skating and Abby was the one who got to share that moment with her as I watched from the sidelines. I have not felt that disappointed in myself in quite some time. That was my job to do not Abby, she shoud not be the one having to cover for me when I am unable to meet the physical demands in my role as Mommy. I need to get healthy so days like this happen less and less.
So to end on a postive note as that was a lesson I needed to learn to give me the motivation to each day get up and start againto stay on trrack to becoming the person I want to be.

Happy New year everyone!
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