Am i being sexually harassed, Should i talk to my Management
Saturday, November 19, 2011
OK my current job(that I am speaking of) i have been working there 2 years. Side note the fact that I am being sexually harassed here instead of my full-time job is strange because there is a pretty even amount of men and women so is strange. Anyway i have been there two years and about as long as I have been there the guy lets call him Billy, had been bothering me. Though it was in the range of strange and annoying I ignored it one because he didn't touch me and two it wasn't very often and he is a virgin. Also i wasn't the only one who he bothered it was pretty much ANY I mean ANY women at the job who was mildly friendly two him so I let it go. Now i am realizing that the way he treats others may not be the same as the things he does to me.
Now here is what happens WHENEVER we work together. i work in a small area about the size of a office 3 walls with an open space(you may can get an idea if you look at my profile pic it shows 2 walls). Anyway In my work I can't always face the front though I try and keep it on my peripheral but i can't always. He will come up behind me and be behind me in my personal space in such a close way that I can feel his erection is not super close like a hug but too close. Is only for a second but is happening more and more often. At other times he walks up to me and is just invading my space and giving me those gross looks you know how men do. He is always saying gross thinks to me. i work with clothing all types of clothing lingerie included. If i am putting away skimpy dress or lingerie he makes lewd remarks.
He often ask me for sex, I do tell him to leave me alone, He basically says and acts as if I said leave me alone right now. He never stops. Another thing I don't know how to handle is the racial things he says to me. He has told me (unsolicited) that he only thought black people should date black people, that black people men and women were both only wanted for sex and shouldn't marry other races. He told me black women were nasty( like freaky) and called me all kinds of stuff that I don't need to repeat.
I will be honest and hopes no one thinks less of me for what I am going to say. This has been going on for a while, like i said. I mostly wrote it off as annoying also as I said. But what really makes me upset is that the management and other employees know and make jokes about it. I want to be certain, but I just can't be sure I feel that they kind of let it happen. He knows they don't care some things he says in front of them and I say with other employees and/or management around that is not funny and that it was rude and they laugh or say nothing about it. Now he is getting more aggressive and bolder. When we are in the store after hours, or alone he grabs me touches me inappropriately and the things has already been doing he does more and worse.
I am afraid to go to my management because first of all they know and they joke about it so I am not sure what they will do . On a day (not anytime recently) that I needed a ride he solicited sex from me for a ride I said no of course and I told my management what happened and they joked about it actually laughed. As though they were kind of setting me up for it so I thought. On a separate occasion sometime later, like a month or so my manager told me to stay passed my scheduled time and ride home with Billy after I told her what happened with him. I had a ride but staying an hour after i was scheduled to get off made it impossible for my planned ride to give me a ride home. I was finished with my work and was scheduled to get off. I opted to take a taxi instead which was about 50$. The next day at work they were kind of upset and my manager gave me a kind of written warning about "insubordination" "not being a team player" and how "being difficult would impair my chances of moving up or getting hours" those are exact quotes because i chose to take a taxi. I have never actually sat down with my mangers and told them what he does at work. Telling them about what happened when he gave me a ride home happened when I first started, and I just said it not like a complaint or anything just like I was telling about a bad weekend or something.
I looked on the internet and from what I read there isn't much I can do cause he isn't my manager and nothing is wrong with comments says the things i read. I get the idea from things that it would go badly for me to complain and they would think that his touches might be accident, If you are thinking that it is an accident there is never that many people or that little space between us , Or any reason that he should be in the area that I work in. It makes me wonder what would happen if i said anything. Another reason that I have apprehension about telling the management is that other employees bother me and the management know about that also and nothing is done so I can't expect much that makes since right. A manager actually told me after I stated that I will only answer to my name not any nicknames or variation of my name, she said and I am quoting "Ok I am the manager, You know I am talking to you so just answer to what we call you" Not sure if i handled that professionally. but I ignored anyone who didn't call me by my name only responding with my name. I don't know how to handle any of these issues. I mean is a smaller company, and i have been there so long not saying anything. I wish this were my full-time job where there is many ways to formally complain and an actual HR manager and her assistant who you can just talk to about work issues. But it is escalating I just don't know what to do?