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Blood, sweat and tears....well, sweat and tears anyways....

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Blood, sweat and tears…well, sweat and tears, anyways…
Posted on November 17, 2011
“Change is inevitable. How we deal with change is what makes us happy or miserable.” Not sure who said this, but I have heard several different variations of it… that being said, even though change is inevitable, it is for me, very difficult.

Training for this competition is different than anything I have ever done.

The clock says 4:50. This morning, I wake up tired. Even though I do want to go to the gym, something inside of me is trying to sabotage my efforts…

I go downstairs. the clock says 4:53 am…a plethora of obscenities fly through my head as I drink my protein shake. My body is feeling the effects of the training, and while on some days this makes me happy, today, it does not.

Besides the training, there are some personal things in my life that are changing too. I have absolutely no control over these things, nor am I terribly happy about them, but there is nothing I can do, or should do. I need to learn to accept these changes with a big smile and a positive attitude…instead, I find my self inwardly stomping my feet in protest, and digging in my heels. I KNOW that I need to let go…but it is difficult…

The clock reads 5:25, and I am walking on the treadmill as tears are streaming down my face. Yup. I must look like an idiot…I look up at the ceiling, trying to get the tears to slow down, but they don’t. They continue to flow….so I let them. I stay on the treadmill a little longer than normal this morning, and break into an all out run…I feel frustration, anger and fear. Change is scary. Change is inevitable.

I want this. Scratch that. I NEED this, as much as I need to breathe.

The time is 5:50. Time to work. I train harder today than I ever before. Am I going to resist change? Or embrace it. I choose to embrace it.

The time is 6:55. I feel like I am changing. Inside and out. I will not give up. Today, there was no blood, (like the time I dropped a medicine ball on my face) but definitely, sweat, and sadly…tears…
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks Pixie and Divegoddess! When I pushed through this morning, I felt very proud of my hard work at the end. I was unprepared for the emotional part of this...caught me off guard...but I'm ready!!

    Thanks for your support...Lord knows I need it!! :))
    3506 days ago
    {{HUGS}} to you!!! I can't say I know what you're going through but speaking of change in general I can relate. I am a creature of habit and I hate change. It's tough for me to embrace it too. So glad you chose to embrace the change and go to the gym despite the inner tantrum. Divegoddess is right you CAN do this! Feel free to vent to me if you need to. I can take it:)
    3506 days ago
    I know what you are going through, but you can do this!! Training for a competition is a HUGE challenge in so many ways, mentally, emotionally and physically. YOU CAN DO THIS!! You are going to come out so strong after this and grow in so many ways.

    So let the tears come, scream if you need to, hang on and pat yourself on the back for chosing to do this!! I'm not going to say it'll get easier because it'll get tougher, just that you will gow so strong that you'll be able to go through this.
    Find your inner strength, it's there and you are powerful!!
    3506 days ago
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