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What is wrong with me?!

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

I just noticed that I do NOT ever finish anything! Why is that exactly???? I've started and stopped this weight loss journey so many times I've lost count.
Let me take that back.........I DO finish eating all the food off of my plate! But I don't ever finish the weight loss programs that I start and then I end up gaining a nasty amount of weight. Grrr.
Oh yeah and I had to put my dog to sleep at the beginning of summer. That was a big blow. She was my workout buddy! My friend! Now she's gone!
My daughter and I do get out and walk every so often and now and then we do Tae Bo but I still eat like there is no tomorrow. Grr.
What to do........what to do........what to do.....
I have no motivation. My motivation 2 1/2 years ago was a bad one and is not around anymore so what now?
The Lord's mercy is new each morning right? A new day to start over again? Just because I failed yesterday doesn't mean I have to keep failing right? That is easier said then done!
This is year 3 of trying to get into this weight loss and healthiness stuff and it is a little embarrassing that I was only 20 pounds from my goal weight (165) 2 1/2 years ago and then I just stopped. It also is a little embarrassing that I now weigh more then I have ever weighed in my life. 241! Whoa!
I also have noticed that I never look at myself in the mirror. I look at my face and eyes and hair but not my body. Why? I don't know why. My darling daughter took a picture of me the other day while I was sitting in my favorite chair watching the birds and when I saw the picture I said, "Who is that? That's not ME is it?!"
So, what do I do now? Start over! Keep going! Don't stop! EASIER SAID THEN DONE PEOPLE!
I have to find a new motivation, one that is long term, one that is going to work. I guess I'll be praying about this and then hopefully get with it and not stop! Ugh!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • HEALTHYSLIM2
    Hang in there! You can do this, and God is right by your side. Know that deep in your heart!
    We are here for you as His hands and feet... let the SP community support you by letting us know what kind of prayer you need with each passing day!
    emoticon
    emoticon
    3412 days ago
  • JENNY712
    Each day is a gift at a new beginning. Yes! We all have had some hard things in our lives but we have hope for a better tomorrow. One of my best helps comes from prayer and god's Word. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. K.J.V. in public domain
    1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. K.J.V. in public domain

    I love this poem!
    Casting My Care

    Lord I continually set before you
    My requests and all my needs
    With thanksgiving I come unto you
    My concerns unburdened to thee

    I wait for your intervention Lord
    In quietness of soul and mind
    And worship at your footstool
    Leaving my cares behind

    And Lord I express my thanks for you
    For all you are to me
    I thank you Lord that I matter to you
    Though at times I cannot see

    Because of the circumstances in life
    The things that I go through
    I find my eyes are on the storm
    When they should be looking to you

    So help me Lord each precious day
    No matter what life brings me
    To carry on with hope and faith
    And to rest in you with peace.

    © By M.S.Lowndes shared with permission
    (She asked that No word can be changed.
    You can share if copyright in place as above.
    Use for non-profit only! Thank you!) I love her poetry!
    3413 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9136158
    Perhaps put the word "FOR" in life style change and you have what it takes to avoid stopping.. When I did this the serious of this "Term" went up for me.. There is no such thing as finished and you found out what happens when you stop- don't stop.. We don't stop brushing our teeth or paying our bills- eating healthy and adding exercise into our lifes has to be habit too..
    emoticon It is horrible to look in the mirror but vital to make a series of photos along the way, look for change and find motivation for keeping going by change in the photos.. Our brain is the last organ that understands change- we have to brain wash new habits in..
    Log your food, made fast dates for exercise with rest days and weave it in naturally- more is not better.. It has to feel like any other habit or custom we do..
    xx
    Red
    (I have been doing this journey 9 years- trial and error, disaster, problem solving and finally system I can live with)... Getting a education with ADHD and lossing weight + keeping it off will probably be the only two remarkable things I have done until finished.. I found it hard to complete stuff too, but resented people steering at me and making my kids feel uncomfortable around me..
    emoticon
    3414 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/2/2011 12:11:59 AM
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