What is wrong with me?!
Tuesday, November 01, 2011
I just noticed that I do NOT ever finish anything! Why is that exactly???? I've started and stopped this weight loss journey so many times I've lost count.
Let me take that back.........I DO finish eating all the food off of my plate! But I don't ever finish the weight loss programs that I start and then I end up gaining a nasty amount of weight. Grrr.
Oh yeah and I had to put my dog to sleep at the beginning of summer. That was a big blow. She was my workout buddy! My friend! Now she's gone!
My daughter and I do get out and walk every so often and now and then we do Tae Bo but I still eat like there is no tomorrow. Grr.
What to do........what to do........what to do.....
I have no motivation. My motivation 2 1/2 years ago was a bad one and is not around anymore so what now?
The Lord's mercy is new each morning right? A new day to start over again? Just because I failed yesterday doesn't mean I have to keep failing right? That is easier said then done!
This is year 3 of trying to get into this weight loss and healthiness stuff and it is a little embarrassing that I was only 20 pounds from my goal weight (165) 2 1/2 years ago and then I just stopped. It also is a little embarrassing that I now weigh more then I have ever weighed in my life. 241! Whoa!
I also have noticed that I never look at myself in the mirror. I look at my face and eyes and hair but not my body. Why? I don't know why. My darling daughter took a picture of me the other day while I was sitting in my favorite chair watching the birds and when I saw the picture I said, "Who is that? That's not ME is it?!"
So, what do I do now? Start over! Keep going! Don't stop! EASIER SAID THEN DONE PEOPLE!
I have to find a new motivation, one that is long term, one that is going to work. I guess I'll be praying about this and then hopefully get with it and not stop! Ugh!