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Sparkingly Spiffy

Friday, October 28, 2011

I know I've used this blog to get the diurnal complaints out of my system, but I also want to reflect on what this site, Spark People has given me.

It's been 25 years since I've started struggling with obesity. I tried every popular diet and they did not work--not, perhaps, because of flaws in the diet (though some were rather crazy) but because I looked for every excuse to break the diet. Oh, is it the Queen of England's birthday? I'd best get a tea cake! What would Julia Child think if I didn't make and consume a fruit cake this winter? Shakespeare's birthday? Better go out to eat. My candidate lost the election? I better medicate myself with a therapeutic pint of Ben and Jerry's. My candidate won the election? What better way to celebrate than with food.

I tenaciously clung to every bogus excuse to gorge myself like a dog shaking a bone.

Exercise? Well, I can't exercise today because I exercised last week. Today is Wordsworth's birthday and he would want me to spend it in calm tranquility. What if I get shin splints? What if it rains? What if I have a heart attack?

I have been quite Jesuitical in the pursuit of justifications, defenses, excuses.

Somehow I saw the Spark! My mind no longer roves around the planet looking for excuses to overeat. I take exercise seriously and would accept very few excuses to avoid it. I track everything I eat. And it's becoming second nature to me.

I am very grateful that a lifetime of excuse-finding and excuse-making seems to have disappeared. It's been almost 4 months since I persuaded myself that just because I was in Scotland I had an obligation to stuff myself with Cullin Skink and Tatties and Neaps and Cranachan and Drambuie. Just because one is in the United Kingdom daily cakes and ale and cream teas are not an obligation!

I find myself incredulous that I could have spent so much time mainstreaming sugar and meats and justified it all in a cloak of ludicrous mitigating excuses.

Routine overeating and excessive sweets are no palliatives; they are a symptom of deeply distressed and wounded thinking. I hope that the next time I am lucky enough to have a holiday the destination will not be the food, but rather the landscape and the art and the sense of being someplace new. Yes, life can be good---even better---without defining everything through the lens of food.




Thank you, Spark People!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MELLISOND
    I applaud you and your efforts to become a healthier person!
    3512 days ago
  • SCRAPPYLADYV
    Great insight!!
    3517 days ago
  • CATS_MEOW_0911
    "Today is Wordsworth's birthday and he would want me to spend it in calm tranquility." Ahh, the oldest excuse in the book...
    emoticon

    Indeed, we come up with some silly excuses to stop ourselves from achieving our dreams. I love your last paragraph about overeating being a symptom of disorder in our lives.
    3518 days ago
  • MOM2ACAT
    emoticon Great blog!
    3519 days ago
  • LE7_1234
    "I hope that the next time I am lucky enough to have a holiday the destination will not be the food, but rather the landscape and the art and the sense of being someplace new. "

    You can do it.

    Last summer, I was in Paris for almost two weeks--and LOST weight. Even though food was part of the whole experience. We did museums--and left when we had enough, even if we hadn't been there very long. Enough for enjoyment--not saturation. Not numbness. Funny how the same thing can apply to food.....
    3520 days ago
  • YIWEN39
    emoticon great blog, emoticon Happy for you that you've changed your ways emoticon emoticon
    3520 days ago
  • LESLIELENORE
    It sounds like you have learned a lot during your sojourn with SP. It is an ongoing journey and a lifelong process. Good luck and best wishes on this fantastic trip!
    3520 days ago
  • REENIE131
    As a self-appointed queen of justification, I really appreciated your list of justifications. True poetry, really. I, like you, am trying to unlearn the fine art of justification, and sparkpeople is an incredible tool for that. Great job..and more power to you!

    3520 days ago
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