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What a jerk!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Yesterday wasn't one of my best days, emotionally speaking. I woke up feeling so frustrated with myself. My DH is pretty good at sensing when something is bothering me and he tries his best to make it better. However, yesterday I wouldn't discuss what was wrong with me because it's my personal struggle that I choose not to share with him anymore. If you remember in a previous blog when I called him a hypocrite and a liar, you'll know why I didn't tell him why I was in such a state. Now you can add "jerk" to the list of names that I'm giving him.

So, he did what he could to try to make it better and took me to the mall. He knows that I love shopping and he offered to treat me to ice cream, my ultimate weakness above all else.
Well, you know when you go to the mall and the health stores have that obnoxious machine that says, "Have you checked your weight today?" as you walk by. I jokingly said, or maybe not so jokingly, "I hate that machine and I want to kick it over." Do you know what my hubby said? That machine doesn't bother me because "I" don't have anything to worry about. Emphasis on "I".
Wow. Really?
JERK!

I reeled back like I'd just been slapped. He couldn't understand what he said wrong so I kindly repeated what he said in the same tone he said it. And he didn't apologize. I would have accepted it if he said, "You know what? That came out wrong." But he didn't.
One thing I have to say positively about myself. I can get knocked down but I will NEVER stay down. He just gave me the final push that I needed to stop playing around. I will forever play yesterday's scene in my mind. Oh I forgive him because if I don't, I'm just hurting myself. But I will NEVER forget.

So...last night, as I played that scene over in my mind, I went online and found out when the next Weight Watchers meeting was starting. It didn't start until 7pm. My wind down, get ready for bed time. But you know what? I carried my tired behind out there to the meeting anyway. I rejoined and it felt good. The scale at the meeting was a few pounds over what mine says at home, so I readjusted my weight tracker. No sense in playing games.
Today is:

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I can and I WILL do this!

And by-the-way...I refused the ice cream.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ELLIE-1220
    Good for you rejoining WW! I hope that with that group and here on SP that you find all the support you need!

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    3038 days ago
  • HDHAWK
    People who don't struggle with their weight (or don't care) just don't get it. Good for you for going to the meeting!
    3039 days ago
  • COLUMBINE2
    You're a winner for sure. You walked away from that ice cream at a time it would have been soooooooo easy to binge. Awesome! AND you got yourself to WW even when you were exhausted...and jumped a positive, uplifting, encouraging environment.

    You may feel like you got beat up ...but actually I think you deserve a huge gold STAR for your response and take-charge attitude. Phooey on these hubbies who talk before they think....YOU know what you want and how to get there. And I'm cheering you on all the way! Take one meal at a time...one day at a time...don't worry about the next day...just concentrate on doing well this hour! Go get 'em, tiger!
    3039 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8730394
    It's like .. sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me. emoticon

    All the best with WW. emoticon

    You are sounding positive about it. All good. emoticon
    3039 days ago
  • CANNIE50
    You know, sometimes husbands just have a way of saying exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. I am impressed that you said no to the ice cream (ice cream is evil in a bowl and the most sure-fire way for me to put on weight). My husband says things like "well, I can have (fill in the junk food here) around and I only eat a little at a time - it's just not a problem for me". I tell him "well, I could have cartons of cigarettes and Nicorette gum around and it wouldn't tempt me one bit". Childish? Sort of, but I am trying to get through to him that we ALL have our weaknesses so it is silly to compare oranges and apples (or Cheetos and Marlboros). I think you may look back on the exchange one day, between you and your husband, with gratitude. He may have just given you the kick you need to get out of neutral and into a higher gear. Go ahead and use this resentment for now, just to get kick-started, and then let it go, doll. Hmmmm, maybe there IS a method to his madness (or his seeming desire to inspire a little mad in you). Good job on taking action when you were tired, by the way - not easy, so good for you.
    3039 days ago
  • CODEMAULER
    You and I are sharing time in the same pea pod, I fear. My DH told me this weekend that 1) I should stay off the scale and 2) breaking my meals into smaller portions over the day is stupid. In fact, he praised himself AGAIN for eating (so he thinks) one meal a day.

    Never mind that he eats chips and candy, drinking Coke all day. I guess it's only a meal if a plate gets dirty?

    Granted, he seemed like he was trying to be helpful, but it's clear that what works for him is not what works for me. Kudos to you for not falling into the traps and for finding a positive outlet.

    I'd like to be your SparkFriend so you and I can team up and battle the challenges together.

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    3040 days ago
  • LINDAJ0621
    Sorry your DH is being a jerk at times. Your spark friends are here to pick up some of that slack and support you! Some people are insensitive to other people's needs...it is unfortunate your husband seems to fall into that category, perhaps without even realizing it. Congrats on joining WW, if you feel that will help you. It will get you out of the house every week and around others trying to achieve the same goals.
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    3040 days ago
  • CAROLZ1967
    I'm shocked he said that. Here he was trying to help improve your mood (supposedly) and then makes that comment. He had to know what he was saying...he's not stupid and he also knows you are not happy with your weight! So it was very insensitive and cruel, really. He may not have known what exactly was bothering you on that day but again, he knows how you feel about the weight stuff from past discussions! And then you even give him a "second chance" technically and he doesn't adjust or change his comment.....what was he thinking?!?! Not very smart anyway! Well I'm sorry about that but I'm glad you were able to rise above it and use it as motivation to take a step forward. Those WW meetings can be very motivational too. You can do it! And I can only hope that as the days go by, he rethinks what he said and apologizes. Maybe after a few days, when the initial anger/pain are gone and you can talk more calmly (it's tough when it first happens and were so angry and ready to burst), you could sit down and at least let him know how badly those words hurt you and how insensitive that was/is. See what he has to say. And if he still doesn't get it or care, well at least you let him know how ou feel and that's always good to do. Just a thought. I'm here for you!!

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    3040 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5128667
    Frankly, I don't think I could forgive that, myself.....but that's just me.....

    Please know (and always keep in mind in case your spouse "misspeaks" again) that your fellow Sparkies DO care.......

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    3040 days ago
  • PEARL-LADY
    Well done...Yep out dear hubby's do not always see what they say is so wrong....think only those of us that are in this can.....look forward to hearing how you are doing my friend remember one day one step we will make it! but do take care not to overdo things....
    Lesley
    3040 days ago
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