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I'm tired of it...

Monday, October 24, 2011

Here I go again. Up 2 lbs. emoticon

I'm so tired of being on this roller coaster ride. Up 2 lbs one week. Down 2 lbs the next. Honestly, I have been gaining and losing the same freakin 2 lbs since Easter.

I'm tired of being tired. I have Lupus and the fatigue is constant. If I workout hard, I don't have the energy to take care of my family. If I don't workout hard, I'm not taking care of myself.

I'm tired of being heavier than everyone in my immediate family. I live with 4 grown men and I'm only 5'4". REALLY?

I'm tired of worrying everyday about counting calories and exercising. I know the importance of this but jeesh do I honestly have to live, eat and breathe this every second of every day for the rest of my life?

I'm tired of considering going back to Weight Watchers. I've been flipping and flopping over this idea for months. I'm very frugal and I hate paying someone else to tell me what I already know. It worked while I was doing it, so if I have to pay someone to weigh my fat *ss every week, so be it.

I'm tired of wearing the same clothes. I refuse to reward myself by buying new clothes in the same size. If I lose weight, I'll reward myself by buying something I deserve. Not a second before.

Maybe I needed to get to this point in my journey to make a change. Before I would say, "It's not that bad. I can deal with this a day at a time." Well, you know what? It is that bad. It's worse than bad. And I'm tired of it.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Understand completely! I have lost only 6kg since the beginning of the year...but like you it goes down one, up one...eventually when it's been off for a while I believe its gone...but it's so slow ...we WILL not and CANNOT give up my friend, difficult with health issues involved too, so much energy is taken fighting them and you feel there is nothing left to give..one step, one day at a time we will change these bodies of ours!
    my daughter who is PT part-time tells me I don't eat enough so I am trying to add a little more good food to my plate....take time out too to rest - I know I do not sleep well so working on that too.

    3046 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8730394
    Thinking of you girlfriend and wondering if this will help.....

    A positive affirmation: "Today I choose to see my life for the wonderful gift that it is. I love and accept myself exactly as I am. I make choices that are right for me and healthy for my body. I forgive everyone, including myself, I easily release the past and I am free".

    3046 days ago
  • CANNIE50
    Oh, honey, I hear you. The only thing that runs through my head when I feel like you are feeling is: "if I keep doing what I've always done, I will keep getting what I've always gotten". I have been stuck for awhile, also, and it makes me realize I have to switch it up, especially around food. I have no great advice because you have already received some good advice in other comments, and I am guessing you already have some idea of a few things you can do differently, food and exercise-wise. Just finding the willingness is key, and there are times when, try as I might, I cannot seem to find it and then, poof, there it is and I run with it. I am sorry you struggle with Lupus because it is a mean ailment and you do not deserve it. I am thinking of you, emoticon Miss Hattie. emoticon
    3047 days ago
  • DEE0973
    I feel you on this, but this is something that you need to do for yourelf. Planning helps me and I know it can help you as well. Feel what you're feeling, then get up and make it happen. Start back again by placing the majority of your focus on what you put into your body and then work back the exercise in. Tell yourself 3-5 servings of veggies daily and plan everything else around it. You can do it. You are so worth it.
    3047 days ago
    I feel for you and am kind-of in the same situation right now. I'm tired of it all and just want to live! Staying on track is extra stress when it gets tough. I feel like I can't get in the good groove I used to be in when I lost 75 pounds and kept it off for several years.

    I wish I knew a solution because I would bottle it and would be a rich woman! Hang in there and just know that you're not alone. It is a hard road, but you need to fine tune it for what works for you and your family.
    emoticon emoticon
    3047 days ago
    I've been there. Back and fourth with the same dang pounds. But I knew what I had to do, put down those chips, cut back more on my fat, carbs and calories and get my but up and work out. And guess what, I lost those 2 pounds plus another 3. Girl it works, and if charting everyday is what we must do well then by darn, we do it! Why? Because you, I, and everyone in your life that means something to you is worth it. So get off that couch, push yourself through that fatigue and get to the gym. Find a workout buddy that is there with you. I know about the fatigue, I work 12 hour night shift and was diagnosed last year with insomnia. I know that pain of thinking of nothing but sleep and then feeling guilty for letting another day of life slip by to it. But you gotta dig deep and push yourself through the exhaustion. Get that work out and if you wanna pass out well then you deserve too. Then after rest, set time for your family. If you have to put it in a calendar than do it girl. Dont feel bad about it. Get organized and plan ahead for workout days, sleep time and family time. It helps. Now what are you waiting for? Get your pretty self up, yes you, reading this, right now, your beautiful and dont you let your head tell you otherwise. Now lose those two DAMN pounds. :-P
    3047 days ago
  • KELLEY421
    I feel and understand your frustration. I also went through a similar problem for many months, and it really got depressing. I knew I had to change something, so I began to focus on my eating habits. While I was within my calorie range most of the time, I saw that my caloric choices were perhaps not the best. 5 days ago, I started loading up on LOTS of veggies and salads to round out meals and snacks, and am eating up to 200 calories every 2 hours to a maximum of 8 times per day, and I am finally seeing results. I have dropped 3 lbs in these last 5 days by actually eating more. What made the difference was in what I was eating. I have cut out processed foods almost completely and feel so much better.
    Every night I plan out my meals and snacks for the next day, making sure that I am in the reccommended ranges for calories, carbs, proteins, fats, etc. I am starting small with the exercise, doing only 10- 15 minutes per day right now, but it is a start and I feel good that I am at least doing something.
    So just hang in there. Try something different. There is alot of information and personal support from many people who have experienced the same things that you are going through. Take advantage of these resources and don't be so hard on yourself. You will get there and see results!
    Hugs, Kelley
    3047 days ago
  • no profile photo STARMIZER2000
    Don't give up
    3047 days ago
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