I wasn't going to weigh myself this morning. I was afraid it would send me in the wrong direction...hopelessness, frustration, depression. Not at all what I need when I am trying to get back on track! But, I wanted an accurate reading of how 'bad' it got, so I weighed.
First of all, I've been pretty much at goal weight since early this year. Some days, I still want to lose more weight, but I'm a good size 8 (some 6s) and I don't really want to lose any more of my 'figure'/'curves' at this point. Maybe someday I will. Anyway, my current goal has been to stay between 130-133.
On August 19th, I once again hit my low of 130. But, earlier this week, I saw 134. Ouch! I was out of my target area! And, I just kept eating & eating...but also doing lots of exercising!
As I stepped on the scale I expected to see 136. I felt I DESERVED 136! But, you know what??? It showed 133!!! Wow! I even have a 'back up' scaled and hopped on it. It always shows about a pound heavier...well, it showed 134. So, my scale wasn't lying to me after all! I am already back in my goal range!!! (Though at the top of it which leaves no wiggle room!)
That made me feel TERRIFIC!!! And, I've felt like I was 'bigger' this week...but the two times I was feeling 'big' and 'fat' I had on clothes that I just don't usually wear. Clothes that are unflattering and need to be PITCHED!!!
Right now, I have on a medium t-shirt (from parasailing!) and small shorts. I feel 'thin' & 'cute!' I have eaten terrifically all day! (so far, you know?) And, I ran 5 miles...FAST... on the HILLS...in practice for next weekend's half marathon.
I'm feeling a lot better, though I know I'll still struggle with my in-laws coming this evening for the weekend. I know they're bringing homemade pies & we usually eat pretty poorly! But, do you know what I realized this morning...everything I put into my mouth is MY CHOICE!!! Even after I pick something up...or buy it....or cut a piece of something...I can choose NOT TO EAT IT!!! What a revelation!
As far as the pie, I love it! My husband's great aunt is 92 years old...and makes wonderful pies...with Crisco in the crust! (Oh, my!) But, I will eat some. I've decided to cut myself small slices and not to eat the bottom crust. That'll help, right?!?
I'm feeling great about how my mind is back in the game today. I'm hoping I can stick with it. I sure plan to!
I hope you all have a great weekend whatever you're doing. If you're racing, have a wonderful time and trust your training! And, thank you for all of the support on my posts yesterday! (I just thought one of them had been lost in e-space, but it somehow is posted now, too.) I couldn't do this without you!