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taking some time off

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I guess I have been going through a rough patch all this time, and didn’t really understand why I was sabotaging this journey…
There are a few things I have realized over the past few weeks: I have no friends! I have no real hobbies that would allow me to make new friends. And I’m actually quiet lousy at making new friends so right now my life seems very empty. I have lost the few close friends I had and it is a sad realization.
I feel like I have not achieved a lot with my life. I am not where I thought I would be at this time in my life – although I’m not even sure if ever I knew what my goals were. I feel like a loser.
I have my husband, and I love him dearly, what I don’t get is why he loves me? I have my kids and they love me – they have to I’m their mom – but am I doing this right? Am I being a good mom to them?
I am sliding into a depression and I don’t know how to get out of it. I know I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and start doing something about it: but that is so much easier said than done.
I am grateful l for all my spark friends for being here for me. For always encouraging me and for caring. I am taking some time off spark to get myself back. I feel like I am also failing at this, this journey that is totally in my hands, this journey that I have total control of – I am failing, the scale has not moved in long and this adds to my general feeling of ‘loser’. I am taking a break. Maybe I’m pushing too hard and I need to step back and take stock. During though, I might log on here and there, but won’t be very active on the site.
I hope to be back at it soon though so don’t give up on me….
Thank you my spark friends for all your support
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hi Mahedago,

    What you wrote here resonate with me in a lot of ways. If I may offer one piece of unsolicited advice, it's that working on self-esteem and on generally fixing the depression is of tantamount importance.
    This is more important IMO than all the numbers on all the scales in the world.

    I know I'm just someone "from the Internet", but if you wish to talk, my mailbox is always open.

    I wish you well.
    2942 days ago
  • SALLY212
    Hey hun, I've just been through a similar thing, and now I've logged back in, what do I find but your comment on my wall, just checking in. It meant a lot.

    Reflection is a huge part of progress, so take all the time you need. This is a long journey, and you need to feel comfortable with why you want to do it.

    I hope you come to realise what amazing potential you hold, and that we get to see you soon.

    Take care, sally xx
    2950 days ago
  • no profile photo MRSBLAK27
    Please take care of yourself during this time of self reflection. I think we all go through it, but know that your friends here are awaiting your return.

    I will pray your strength in this


    Ps... find someone to talk to, believe me it helps

    2970 days ago
  • GINNJEN2000
    Hey there! You do have friends that care. I know I havent been as present as I should be but am trying to get back to it. Hang in there!
    2973 days ago
    You are a very special person, I hope that everything works out for you and you are back very soon. Take care and good luck. xx
    2977 days ago
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