SP Premium
MAHEDAGO
(Online Now)
20,000-24,999 SparkPoints 22,764
SparkPoints
 

taking some time off

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I guess I have been going through a rough patch all this time, and didn’t really understand why I was sabotaging this journey…
There are a few things I have realized over the past few weeks: I have no friends! I have no real hobbies that would allow me to make new friends. And I’m actually quiet lousy at making new friends so right now my life seems very empty. I have lost the few close friends I had and it is a sad realization.
I feel like I have not achieved a lot with my life. I am not where I thought I would be at this time in my life – although I’m not even sure if ever I knew what my goals were. I feel like a loser.
I have my husband, and I love him dearly, what I don’t get is why he loves me? I have my kids and they love me – they have to I’m their mom – but am I doing this right? Am I being a good mom to them?
I am sliding into a depression and I don’t know how to get out of it. I know I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and start doing something about it: but that is so much easier said than done.
I am grateful l for all my spark friends for being here for me. For always encouraging me and for caring. I am taking some time off spark to get myself back. I feel like I am also failing at this, this journey that is totally in my hands, this journey that I have total control of – I am failing, the scale has not moved in long and this adds to my general feeling of ‘loser’. I am taking a break. Maybe I’m pushing too hard and I need to step back and take stock. During though, I might log on here and there, but won’t be very active on the site.
I hope to be back at it soon though so don’t give up on me….
Thank you my spark friends for all your support
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JAMAISCONTENTE
    Hi Mahedago,

    What you wrote here resonate with me in a lot of ways. If I may offer one piece of unsolicited advice, it's that working on self-esteem and on generally fixing the depression is of tantamount importance.
    This is more important IMO than all the numbers on all the scales in the world.

    I know I'm just someone "from the Internet", but if you wish to talk, my mailbox is always open.

    I wish you well.
    2942 days ago
  • SALLY212
    Hey hun, I've just been through a similar thing, and now I've logged back in, what do I find but your comment on my wall, just checking in. It meant a lot.

    Reflection is a huge part of progress, so take all the time you need. This is a long journey, and you need to feel comfortable with why you want to do it.

    I hope you come to realise what amazing potential you hold, and that we get to see you soon.

    Take care, sally xx
    2950 days ago
  • no profile photo MRSBLAK27
    Please take care of yourself during this time of self reflection. I think we all go through it, but know that your friends here are awaiting your return.

    I will pray your strength in this

    Melissa

    Ps... find someone to talk to, believe me it helps


    2970 days ago
  • GINNJEN2000
    Hey there! You do have friends that care. I know I havent been as present as I should be but am trying to get back to it. Hang in there!
    2973 days ago
  • FRANNYMAE80
    You are a very special person, I hope that everything works out for you and you are back very soon. Take care and good luck. xx
    2977 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.