taking some time off
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
I guess I have been going through a rough patch all this time, and didn’t really understand why I was sabotaging this journey…
There are a few things I have realized over the past few weeks: I have no friends! I have no real hobbies that would allow me to make new friends. And I’m actually quiet lousy at making new friends so right now my life seems very empty. I have lost the few close friends I had and it is a sad realization.
I feel like I have not achieved a lot with my life. I am not where I thought I would be at this time in my life – although I’m not even sure if ever I knew what my goals were. I feel like a loser.
I have my husband, and I love him dearly, what I don’t get is why he loves me? I have my kids and they love me – they have to I’m their mom – but am I doing this right? Am I being a good mom to them?
I am sliding into a depression and I don’t know how to get out of it. I know I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and start doing something about it: but that is so much easier said than done.
I am grateful l for all my spark friends for being here for me. For always encouraging me and for caring. I am taking some time off spark to get myself back. I feel like I am also failing at this, this journey that is totally in my hands, this journey that I have total control of – I am failing, the scale has not moved in long and this adds to my general feeling of ‘loser’. I am taking a break. Maybe I’m pushing too hard and I need to step back and take stock. During though, I might log on here and there, but won’t be very active on the site.
I hope to be back at it soon though so don’t give up on me….
Thank you my spark friends for all your support