Day 2 List reasons you have given up before
I think that the question pertains to what has made me give up on diets before:
I never really think I'm worth it
I have tended to think of food as "consolation" as "comfort" as "therapy" (all those jaunty times I've called Ben and Jerry's ice cream my 'therapist'
I have a crazy mentality that I "deserve" food when I have something bad happen to me
food is ingrained into my psyche as treat, consoler, healer
When I am pressured with too much work I've always found it easy to eat poorly--fast food, frozen dinners, take-out
I am socially awkward and tend to have my anxiety make me eat too much in social situations even when I think that people are judging me
It makes me feel defiant and as if I am standing up for myself (this is really a trick because I intellectually know it's hurting myself). My parents used to keep cookies and candies and ice cream and soda for themselves and we were not allowed to touch it because there were six children. Parents calmly explained that they deserved "treats" because they had "earned" it. We could "earn" treats only on very special occasions. So it's ingrained in my psyche that food is emotional and physical capital; that access to food is a privilege
I am still not rational enough to always physically and emotionally understand that food can be toxic and fatal in the long-term.
I've never learned to judge food coolly and dispassionately
Until I found Spark People all of my diets were ridiculously limited and not at all balanced. Some were downright dangerous! Some have even been banned (anyone else remember liquid protein?)
I will not commit suicide but I have often wondered if I am letting food kill me by proxy. Do I have some sort of death wish that does not permit me to stick with a decent food program?
These are the reasons that come to mind first.