Facing Fears & Failures
Sunday, September 18, 2011
I am re committing to my health and goals. Over a year ago I joined Spark and with determination and the motivation from my fellow Sparkers I dropped 76lbs. I felt better than I could ever remember feeling my entire life. People around me were getting motivated to act for themselves through me. At first that was exciting but I still started slipping. That motivation should have propelled me forward yet I let it and the changes in my life scare me. The more people noticed the more I felt fear of failure. I allowed this to not just push me of track a little but to completely derail all of my hard work. I just stopped everything little by little….a shot here…a soda there. I even started smoking again :( !! The first week I gained 10lbs back. Instead of seeing it as a wake up call I saw it as proof that I would fail. So why bother…I know I know what a dummy! So here I sit with almost ALL of my effort and hard worked wasted and having gained back all but 10lbs. I said I would NEVER be that person. “Once I quit smoking and get healthy I’ll never go back” Oh how naive. So I write this today in hopes of my fellow Sparkers will hold me accountable and push me to keep these new vows.
1) NO SMOKING…it drains my motivation and energy. (3 days smoke free so)
2) NO SODA
3) Stick to my program
4) Be kind to myself
5) Use the tools at my disposal to stay motivated
6) Respect my body and mind
7) FIGHT ALL FEARS
8) Post a progress blog with pictures bi weekly
The 10lbs that I still have to show for all of the hard work….I WILL use it this time to push me towards becoming the very bets me I can be.