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The "C" Word

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

What would you do it you heard the “C” word?

Of course that “C” word is cancer.

Would you cry?

Go into denial?

Beg God to fix you?

Question, “Why me?”

Allow fear to take over?

It would be easy to do any or all of these things, but for me...

I actually heard the "C" word or in my case the “L” word or Lymphoma over the phone from my doctor. I’m actually grateful that he told me with no messing around, but needless to say I was initially in shock. I handed off the phone to my husband so he could hear the same words. Now, I was to go home, try to sleep through the night, which I actually did and then I’d be on the phone with my oncologist the next day; my oncologist... hmmm two words I never thought I would be saying. I went home with tears and fears and told my two sons.

My office visit with the oncologist wouldn’t come for 8 days, plenty of time to consider what was happening to me and research that word. But it could also be 8 days that could paralyze me.

It’s kind of funny, the next day I had to get out for a walk to clear my head. During the walk I ran into a lady whose dog I like to pet and I told her. She turned out to be an 11 year cancer survivor. She had the calm demeanor that I needed. I returned home with total peace about my situation. I was going to fight this and win, so it was time to get things moving.

I had a core biopsy, laparoscopic biopsy, bone marrow biopsy, and port surgery plus lab work, a CT scan, a PET scan, an ECG and started chemo in just over a month.

It turns out that the initial tears and fears have been my only negative emotions to go with this diagnosis. I told my son that I wanted my pain diagnosed, no matter what it was. I got that. I told my oncologist I wanted to know exactly what I had and how to treat it. I got that. I then told my oncologist that I want to kill it. I’m in that process right now.

You may think I’m in denial, you’d be wrong. I know exactly what I am facing. However, I believe that any negative thoughts from me or others around me will only do me harm. Will I have bad days? I’m sure I will, but staying active by walking daily, continuing to do my races (yes I’ve been give permission to do so), and looking only toward the positive are the things along with the medical side that will KILL this cancer and not allow it to return. So don’t feel sorry for me, have no pity. If you think of me only think positively and you will be helping me heal.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    This is great!!You will beat it, just like athletes like Lance Armstrong did!!! emoticon
    3576 days ago
    Janet - You are amazing and I know that with your strength, your family, your faith and conviction - that you will overcome all obstacles and come out - the winner that you are. The fact that you have reached out to me with everything that you are dealing with yourself - is making me cry - really. Thank you so much and it is giving me the kick in the pants i need to pull myself out of my issues. God bless. emoticon
    3579 days ago
  • TOOKES519
    As a 3 year Cervical Cancer Survivor myself I can totally relate to this blog. All the fears, emotions and questions are so real. Your attitude is amazing and I wish you all the best. I am adding you as a friend so I can continue to watch your progress and hopefully offer you some kind words along the way.


    3582 days ago
    Go out and kick butt and take names - kill it dead.. and thrive! My positive thoughts will be with you daily!

    3584 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9136158
    What a rude and very unprofessional doctor giving a serious diagnosis over the phone.. Most people are reeling and need answers.. I send good wishes hope you beat this..
    3584 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/28/2011 10:38:36 PM
    Sending positive thoughts your way. You WILL beat this.
    3585 days ago
    You are an amazing woman! I will be keeping positive thoughts about you as well. You can fight it!!!
    3587 days ago
  • MIRAGE727
    I had to read you blog and glad I did. You see the winners that have been there and walked out the front door. I can tell you that my positive attitude helped me in the past challenges and my present challenges. It is the best medicine that you can give yourself. Keep living those positive waves! I will keep you in my prayers and wish you all the best.
    3587 days ago
    Your outlook is refreshing. Thank you for sharing. You are strong and you will KILL this!
    3587 days ago
  • LAURIE5658
    Janet, I had a feeling that you were dealing with something like this from a few things you have said in the past. YOU WILL BEAT THIS BEAST! I will support you any way I can just like you have always been there for me. NOW LETS GO AND DO!!!!!!!!!

    3587 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5826541
    Wow, I am amazed at your strength and resolve.

    thank you for setting the example.
    3587 days ago
    Sending you light and love and lots of healing energy...
    3587 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5815518
    You have an amazing attitude that is inspiring to not only people who have never experienced cancer, but for those who have or who are going through the process now. It is so hard to remain positive in the face of a diagnosis, but I am a firm believer that positivity forces your body to fight that much harder. You can't give up, and you're not doing that. You're racing and you're writing and you are, for me, a huge inspiration. :) Keep doing what you're doing and I'll be thinking of you and your family while you go through your struggles here.
    3589 days ago
    You've got what it's gonna take. I am 4+ years clear of breast cancer and the determined peace is what will carry you through whatever you're gonna face. You're gonna beat it and really live life while you do. Rock it woman!
    3589 days ago
  • MSBLT82
    I am a lymphoma survivor and have been officially "clear" for over 10 years now. Good luck with your fight! And if you want to talk to someone who has been there, feel free to spark mail me. emoticon emoticon
    3589 days ago
    Great attitude. Go kick some cancer butt!
    3589 days ago
    You are bearing up so well - congrats to you. Keep those positive thoughts flowing!
    3589 days ago
    You know what? You already have it beat. You have the attitude you need, the weapons you need to FIGHT! Kick that cancer's AZZ!
    3589 days ago
  • TERRYT55
    WOW......the last word I would think of is denial after reading your blog. I think you are ready to kick lymphoma's butt! Your positive attitude will save your life.

    A close friend has beaten breast cancer and two bouts with melanoma and is still alive to brag about it 25 years later. She is in excellent health and takes great care of herself. She has that same positive.....just tell me how to kill it.....attitude.

    You rock!
    3590 days ago
    I really appreciate your decision to choose your attitude! I truly believe that your attitude can really make a difference!! March on SparkFriend, and hang on to that sense of self, with peace! Thanks for sharing, and I will be following.

    3590 days ago
    Janet, you will get through this. Your attitude is amazing and so is your determination.

    Lianne emoticon
    3590 days ago
    Prayers and the power of positive thinking work great together! You have both...our prayers and your great attitude.

    3590 days ago
    A-M-A-Z-I-N-G Attitude!
    You have found peace and seem to have handed it over to THE healer - and Heal he will - and use you as an example to guide others to Him.
    God Continue to bless and keep you and your family!
    3590 days ago
    You have a marvelous attitude and it will get you through treatment and back to healthy in no time! Sending positive vibes your way. emoticon
    3590 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9965936
    Janet you are in my prayers for all the strength, courage, and faith and love you need to come your way:)

    You are stronger than you think you are!

    If you ever decide during or after chemo tx that you're interested in alternative medicine as an onocology rn and oncology massage therapist if its ok with you I can give some suggestions that I've seen help during and after chem
    Best of luck to you:)
    3590 days ago
    A good friend of mine is in remission. Your attitude will go a long way. Definitely look into the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. They have been a really big help for her.
    3590 days ago
    Best wishes for your healing and comfort.
    3590 days ago
  • DANA564
    Love your attitude. Wishing you continued strength in your fight! God Bless you!
    3590 days ago
    I love your positive attitude!!! emoticon
    3590 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4429274
    Denial? Pfft. As if. It isn't denial if you know that you are the one in control and the one who will decide to survive and thrive. It's determination. And you, lady, have it!
    3590 days ago
    Janet, you are so strong! A positive attitude will go a LONG way!!
    3590 days ago
    Janet - I'm so sorry to hear you've been diagnosed with Lymphoma. Please remain positive because a good attitude can only help with the physical aspect of what you are facing. I don't know if you remember, but I do a lot of work with The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Look them up for any resources you may need. You're in my prayers...
    3590 days ago
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