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Have not been myself lately

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

It's been a while since my last blog. I just don't feel like it. I've been down and I have had zero energy lately. I am still going to the gym 4 to 5 days a week..even if for only 45 minutes, but my heart isnt in it anymore. Why?? I dont know.....I try to give myself the same advice I have given others..I dont feel like posting..i dont feel like tracking.

I do remember the rush I get from getting on the treadmill and busting ass..I still do. It's the getting there that I dread.
I have not been horrible on my diet but my weekends are the toughest time. It's almost as though I have no self control. I know...that is an addict speaking..a food addict. MY diet through out the week is always good...I never eat past 8 and I have stopped eating on my large plates but using my salad plates for portion control.... so why am I getting burnt out? I am not sure. I hate this feeling. I just feel like I cant shake it. Yesterday, I seriously had a two hour craving for BBQ Chipped Beef baked potato with cheese and sour cream and it made me cranky to know I was battling myself over it. I know there are other options..like Greek yogurt and healthier options but you know what..I didnt want the healthier option..I wanted the wrong one. Today..I ate a good healthy breakfast..Kashi Ceral (1 cup and 8oz of skim milk and a coffee) ....what do I do for lunch??? I got McDonalds and get a Quarter Pounder with cheese meal..with a coke..did I eat it...YOu bet your ass I did..I ate it all...and drank my whole coke...I felt so guilty afterwards...and that feeling was followed by anger and depression.

I think I am not seeing the results I want to see fast enough. I must be acting impatient and trying to rebel..trying to sabotage myself. I know that I have not completely let go as I still commit to working out almost daily but never less than 4 times a week but I am just going through the motions. Has this happened to anyone else before? I am so defensive...I am mad..I am not understanding. It's not about the weight..I know it will come off in time but I am not losing inches...I am still in the same size jeans I was in a month ago and they are still fitting me the same.

Maybe I am just beign a baby...maybe I am just ranting for no reason at all and I am being a brat.

I dont know...
Sorry I am fussing...I just had to get this out because I am on the verge of tears...I am over it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
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    You are not alone. I've been feeling the same way lately. We are opposite, though. My food choices have still been fairly good, but the exercise went out the window. I have been making myself exercise this week, and today I broke my own personal record while walking, so that has me pretty excited. Just keep doing your best and the results will come. Also, I know when I eat "bad" things I tend to feel worse, so maybe that could be contributing. Either way, just know that you're not alone.
    3107 days ago
    You are emoticon You are emoticon
    Never Ever Give Up!
    Life is Good!
    Good Health is the Greatest Wealth!
    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
    Philippians 4:13
    3108 days ago
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