First of all, I think you for all of the kind responses to my post about 'scared to swim' this morning! I love SP! You all are so supportive!
One of the comments was by LOUDPIPES who asked, 'why are you scared?' Great question!!! And, one I'm still working through this evening. Why am I scared...and "what", excactly, am I scared of?
I swam laps from January through early May of this year. Actually, last summer I swam laps at our local pool, too. I have been in the water since I was little and used to 'live' at the pool when I was a kid. So, sorry that my post sounded like I was scared of the water...I'm not.
I'm also not afraid of lakes or lake water! Just look at my background photo...I learned to ski last month! We have a lakehouse and I spend a lot of time on and in the water. So, I'm not scared of the lake.
I'm not really scared of swimming laps, either. I do not find it as fun as running outside, biking outside, running on a treadmill, spinning, pilates, step, zumba...on & on! But, I actually was enjoying swimming laps before...you finally get in a rhtyhm and it's really quiet.
What have I been scared of these past 3 months that has kept me from swimming laps?
...I'm scared to do another open water swim...it was so scary...the feeling that I might not make it the whole way OR that I might go under. I never 'really' thought I'd drown. Just maybe make a fool of myself?
...I'm scared that I'll start training again and get ready for another triathlon only to find I'm terrified of the swim portion again.
...I'm scared that I'll be one of the slowest few, again, and that the group behind me will catch me and run over me making me feel like I'm in a washing machine twice instead of once.
...I was scared because it was a 'new' gym and I wasn't sure what to expect.
...I was scared because I was afraid there'd be other swimmers and that I'm really slow and don't have great form.
...I was scared to start training again, and then to give up. I had plans on doing 3 more sprint tris this summer, and gave them all up because of my fear.
But...I DID SWIM TODAY!!!
And, I knew I'd be reporting back so I pushed extra hard.
I took my fins and told myself that I could swim all of the laps with my fins if necessary. I started off with 100 'kick only' with my fins. Not too bad!
Then, I did 100 of freestyle with fins. Hmmm...my arms don't like this! They are already aching! I did another 100. Still hurting! Man, it had only been about 6 or 7 minutes and my goal was 30!!! Another 100. Whew.
Ok...I think I'll take my fins off and give it a try. I'm now sharing a lane with this lady who is doing backstroke back & forth & back & forth without stopping. She's good! Anyway, this is MY practice. Freestyle down & back. That's 450! Freestyle down & back. 500! Again...and again. Whew!
The other lady is gone now. She did a lot of laps, but it was a short workout. Ok, my arms are hurting, but I think I can do 200. Do I remember how??? Just start swimming!
200. Whew. I can do more. Can I make it to 250? Yes! 300? Yes!
By this time, I'm wondering if I can do 500 yards. My 'usual' swim was 500 or 550 (since my OWS, open water swim, was 500 METERS). Can I really still swim 500 yards without stopping!?! YES...I CAN!!! I did it!!! What a terrific feeling!
So, even with my 'poor' form, I can swim 500! Actually, I was taking a class this spring and my coach kept telling me my form was good. But, how come it took me 17 mins to swim 500 meters when others finished so much quicker? I 'feel' sloppy.
Now, I'm sitting here proud of myself. I faced a fear, once again, and conquered it. I WILL tri AGAIN!!! And, it'll be GREAT! I will get in some type of class. I will practice, somehow, open water swimming. And, I WILL CONTINUE to be a TRIATHLETE!!!
(Thanks again, Sparky Friends!!!)