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Alcoholism- What's weighing me down

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Some of you may have noticed my status recently that I'm going through a tough time. I've also mentioned that my husband is an alcoholic... so is my dad... so is my brother... so is my sister... so was my stepfather in law (died from it). My brother lives with me instead of his wife and kids. I moved my father up to my city since my mom died in November and he was at my house for a few days. So I'm surrounded by alcoholics. The day my dad fell and hit his head real bad and I thought he was dead, they had all been drinking all day at my house. I was surrounded. My brother get's really aggressive and verbally abusive with me when he drinks. He gets in bar brawls all the time. My husband has closed himself in a separate room that he keeps refrigerated at about 65 degrees because he weighs over300lbs. I used to call it the cave but I'm calling it the morgue now because he wil die there. He's been in intensive care since yesterday going thru the DT's and basically dying from alcholism. He has drunk for so may years and so much that he has ulcers all over his stomach and has esophageal varices (bulging blood vessels like hemmorhoids in his esophagus). Because he doesn't want to be "nagged" by doctors he refuses to go. He's been throwing up and having constant diahrrea since Tuesday but refused to go to the dr. Last night he decided he would finally go to the urgent care center. Of course they scolded him for waiting so long. My oldest daughter drove him there and I arrived about 30 minutes later. He finally told me on Fri that his stools were black which I knew meant he had been bleeding internally. He was also vomiting brown stuff which is old blood. He neglected to tell the dr this though. The dr. said "he's anemic" I said, duh! he's been bleeding since Tuesday! That earned him an ambulance ride to the hospital. Then they took him to ICU, then they gave him 2 units of blood. They did his endoscopy to find out where he was bleeding. That's when they found all the ulcers. They cauterized the two biggest ones but there are lots of smaller ones. I asked the dr. what was the cause and he said alcohol. I asked the dr. to be very firm with him because he's extremely stubborn. After all who waits till they're practically dead to go to the dr? His blood pressure was 65 over 35. Also, he was very dehydrated and had not been replacing his electolytes. People don't know you can die from that. That's how my mom died! She vomited herself to death. If he wouldn't have sought treatment he would be dead today. No doubt in my mind since I've seen it happen twice already. He's in a lot of pain from the dehydration, et al plus the DT's on top of everything else.
So now they're giving him meds to help him through the witdrawal. They said if he gets agressive, they'll have to put the restraints on him. Of course he's promising that he won't drink again. But of course I go by the saying "Do you know when an addict is lying? His lips are moving!" I have almost six giant bottles of bourbon to dispose of before he gets back in the house in a few days. Hopefully I can get him in an intreatment facility soon.
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  • CAALAN23
    My step-father was like this. It took my mother years to see it before divorcing him and even then there were scary moments involving police. Last I heard he had hit rock bottom and was homeless. It's sad what unchecked addiction can ravage.

    I hope he finally sees what it is doing to him, but like you, I know that sometimes it just doesn't happen that way.

    If you need anything, let me know...
    3492 days ago
  • DIXIED88
    emoticon Super tight squishy back breaking hugs!

    I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I have a couple alcholics in my life as well. This last winter I almost lost my marriage to it. Hubby has gotten better but sometimes still back slides. Just know that I'm here for you. If you need to vent, rant, or just cry it out...I'll listen. My heart goes out to you now.
    3499 days ago

    I'm so sorry that you are in the middle of this madness!

    Keep reaching out - for you and your daughter. Ask for help, I think you deserve and need it. No one should have to carry this burden alone!

    3499 days ago

    Are you doing anything for YOU, like al-anon or counseling? Being surrounded like that truly sets you up for living in a co-dependent cycle, not to mention all the stress and drama of having all that alcoholism around you all the time. Hang in there!
    3501 days ago
    I'm so sorry your going thru this I sure hope things get better..I've seen alot of alcoholism in my life also,in fact it ended my 1st marriage of 18 yrs,its so sad so with that said my heart and prayers go out to you..hang in there..BIG emoticon
    3501 days ago
    This touched me very much,I understand what your going through,been there done it,though not as bad as what u are going through.Both my parents are dead now.And by the sounds of it so will your close ones if they don't smarten up.I know it's hard for them,but much more for you.And on top of this u r trying to lose weight?My heart goes out to u!may the will of life direct you in the right ways,and still try to be strong w/ the weight issues,if u have anything left in u that is,I will be thinking about u,and hope things start to look up.I wish there was more I could say or do to help.take care,and god bless! emoticon
    3501 days ago
  • KERSTIN814
    My husband went back to drinking after being sober for 26 years. Now he seems to have no control of it. Thanks for sharing. I hope it gets better for you. Your brother should get out of your house. He sounds dangerous
    3502 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5128667
    Oh, my - I know this only too well with certain folks I've known (though not to this extreme, but in other ways).....I am so, SO sorry you're dealing with this - I will keep you and your family inmy best thoughts!

    3502 days ago
    I am sorry you are going through this. All of this. it is bad enough when it is one family member, but you are surrounded and are trying to be so strong. I had to quit drinking 10 months ago when I realized I could no longer say it was recreational. Be strong. I am here if you need to bend my ear.
    3502 days ago
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