No Bueno :(
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
I'm still not in a good place. And i think im finally getting to the root of it all.
I am lonely. Plain and simple, I am just lonely.
And what do I do about that feeling? STUFF IT. Fill myself up so much with junk and try to shut that feeling up.
But guess what? Its not working. What is happening is that my self esteem/confidence is starting to lower, and I'm gaining weight, not exercising as much so getting weaker and becoming depressed.
What to do? not sure. Every day I 'try again' and every day i end up failing.
I cant exactly go out and keep myself busy because honestly I get up at 4am, and by the end of the work day I am exhausted. But I go home and I am a single gal with very little friends and its just me. rarely do I have someone to talk to about my day..every day. Ya know? I live with my parents and sisters but those relationships arent exactly great so I keep to myself. Hence the binge eating.
Sooo I guess heres to another try tomorrow. At least I have figured out WHY, now I just gotta figure out what the heck to do.