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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I'm still not in a good place. And i think im finally getting to the root of it all.

I am lonely. Plain and simple, I am just lonely.

And what do I do about that feeling? STUFF IT. Fill myself up so much with junk and try to shut that feeling up.

But guess what? Its not working. What is happening is that my self esteem/confidence is starting to lower, and I'm gaining weight, not exercising as much so getting weaker and becoming depressed.

What to do? not sure. Every day I 'try again' and every day i end up failing.

I cant exactly go out and keep myself busy because honestly I get up at 4am, and by the end of the work day I am exhausted. But I go home and I am a single gal with very little friends and its just me. rarely do I have someone to talk to about my day..every day. Ya know? I live with my parents and sisters but those relationships arent exactly great so I keep to myself. Hence the binge eating.

Sooo I guess heres to another try tomorrow. At least I have figured out WHY, now I just gotta figure out what the heck to do.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KTMAE2006
    I so know the feeling. And i'm still there. You just take small steps and see what you can do. I know its not rip-roaring exciting, but do what you can. Keep sparking. Let us know how we can help. You are a rockstar, you can do this.
    3373 days ago
  • RUNSWITHDEER
    Hey, you got at least two things going right, skinny and sweet. Maybe its time to venture out in some new adventures. Our local swim club has introduced me to many triathletes who have meets and training that I have joined them in runs and bike rides. All of them are super encouraging and always grateful to have some company. Keep your head up babe!
    3374 days ago
  • IMARUNR
    Knowing and awareness is the start! And I agree, running groups can be fun, too!
    emoticon

    3374 days ago
  • LIGHTNINGRUNNER
    I know your pain - in a different way - I am the source of my frustration with life.

    Consider finding a singles group. There are plenty of them....meet new single people (male & female) and do things - they have events you can do and it is not a dating service - just a way to meet new people.

    Other thought would be to volunteer at a charity you find tugs at your heart...the SPCA or Humane Society. Go run dogs.
    3374 days ago
  • ANABANANA135
    If you need a friend... we should hang out sometime! I don't think we live thaaaat far apart! I think we'd have a lot of fun together.
    3375 days ago
  • MASRITE
    Ok, just read your last blog and you sounded great. Now, this blog isn't. I definitely hear what you are saying. Even though I am married and have 4 kids, I do get bored (or maybe it's overwhelmed) and tend to look to the food for comfort. I'm working on that, too. It's not easy, but we are all here to do this together. While I was on vacation and playing cards with my boys, all I wanted to do is snack. And, guess what? Sometimes I did and hated myself for it. However, I"m home now and have to change my ways. Let's do this together girlfriend!!!
    3375 days ago
  • LLREED
    I'm with you! I feel the same way. I'm divorced, but even when I was married, I was alone. Reach out to people at work and others that you come into contact with. Get involved with a volunteer organization (I'm sure that you have more opportunities there than I do here, in the middle of nowhere). I know that it is really hard to think about socializing after an 11 or 12 hour day at work (I just finished a 12 hour one, believe me, I know), but even just a 15 min conversation with someone on the way home would help. Just don't give up! We're here for you! Lisa
    3375 days ago
  • NATURAL_BEAUTY
    I have the same issue - I try to fill the emptiness with food. I'm lonely and isolated and have spent the past couple of years packing on the weight. The key now is to keep going, even if you don't think you can... even if you slip up. Keep working with SP and use the support system we have here. Don't give up... you can do it!

    I added you as a friend :)

    Tina
    3375 days ago
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