Sunday, July 24, 2011
My uncle has nagged me for years to go to an OA meeting with him. I, like so many people, am not really into showing everyone my panties. Last night I was SO FRUSTRATED, as I was in my last two posts. I begged DH to let me join Nutrisystem. "No," he said. Then Jenny Craig? "Nope." I argued that I probably eat more money in actual food each month than the cot of the program. His argument is (always) that once you go off... blah blah blah. Anyway, I searched online and found an online OA group. I sat in on my first virtual meeting. I ordered a 12 step book for my iPad. I started reading. Yesterday I realized that my fat is a symptom. Last night I confirmed that I am not alone. Of the 15 or so indicators that there is an eating disorder present, I had nearly all of them. For the first time I was completely honest with myself. It feel good. I feel good. I feel like there is room for me to breathe now. I'm not going to go crazy and eat till I explode. There's a little something inside that is saying, "finally! she listened."