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EPC- days 16 17 and 18

Monday, July 11, 2011

I am not doing so well these past few days- The unpredictable weekend had me off track, and its trickling into today too..... I noticed that I started fantasizing about binging (I know-sick right) Saturday because I knew my husband and I were getting pizza and movie snacks and watching movies at home. I ate less pizza than I thought which suprised me and I was proud of that because I think my stomach is shrinking-_ but also ate snacks later that night just because--- really wish I didn't do that- ok forgive and move on- but Sunday turned out to be similar- and then I found myself eating cereal in the middle of the night.- So not cool!

I know i am supposed to forgive myself immediately- and move on- but that seems so easy- almost like- its ok to do bad as long as I forgive myself and move on- feeling like I need more structure than that. I did forgive myself- started counting calories today- then my friends wanted to order pizza for lunch- (agh- pizza again-) and I intended to keep track and count my calories- but the pieces were small- i didn't really know how to count it- then I was hungry (really) later that afternoon- and I was craving sugar- so I got some cookies from the vendoom machine- Yikes! and I have no idea where I am at calorie wise today-

So- A personal goal of mine is to go to this horseshow labor day weekend. I really can't afford to show all year like I used too- So I just pick my favorite show of the year (and its local) and Plan to go to that one. I want to do really well there- so I started my horses training yesterday- I want to kick some butt- I mean show up and really wow everyone with my size- my horse- our progress from this show last year when I was there- Really want to wow everyone with my new 'shining spark'- So I am going to the barn tonight to start day 2 of that- that will be considered activity- not really exercise- and to bed early tonight so I can get up early- workout- go to work, come home, make dinner- and go to the barn again... :)

Instead of tomorrow is a new day- this moment is a new moment- and I am turning my day around... I think blogging keep me on track- so maybe that is why I slipped up this weekend.
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  • SPARKGIRL32
    I'm glad you are actively working on forgiving yourself/moving on! This is so important! blogging definitely does help keep you on track :) Definitely for me!! :)
    3677 days ago
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