2/20/07 Rough night
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
This morning I am about a 7. Arthritis worse in hands, wrists, and ankles. My back hurts but I'm sure tht is from lifting and bending over under a car hood. Couldn't sleep well kept waking up every 1/2 hour my arm kept going numb (nerve damage due to lupus) had some difficulty breathing and some chest pains. Not a heart attack maybe angina. My knee keeps locking causing sharp pain and is swollen. I need to schedule the surgery for a replacement . But with the wrist surgery pending and not knowing what's going on with the kidneys I just have to grin and bear it. It is apparent with all that is happening my Lupus is out if remission. Thank goodness for the Vicodin although today it just takes the edge off.
Last night ended badly. I was frustrated trying to work on a car.
(Difficult to do with my hands knotted up and cramping) Icouldn't get what I needed done and the first thing I did was start eating. This was after dinner by they way. ( Up to that point I had done pretty good.) Anyway, I started thinking about all the things I can no longer do because of this disease and I just lost it. It seems I do that when I get upset about my condition. I usually deal with it pretty well but sometimes you just don't want to deal with it. I've even not taken my meds at times.
Well, once again I will start with a fresh attitude because I know I can do this. It's all about attitude and determination. And as General Patton said." Never, Never, never give up" (One of my favorite quotes).