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Family frustrations

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

DH's family came to town to attend his sisters wedding this weekend. Some things made me very upset and I have a hard time letting these things go. I know that I need to just take a deep breath, but I hate that my family (albeit a family by marriage) can be so hurtful sometimes.

On the front row sat the immediate family, except for DH and I. It did include the stepmom (been stepmom for less than 1 year) and I totally believe that should happen, but also stepsister....who we've known about a year total. That hurts. That a person who has been a member for less than 1 year was sitting up front instead of the person who has been there for 28 years (DH) and I (8 years) that have been with her through countless crap ;).

Plus the fact that I got crapped on by a bird (before the wedding started) and stung by a hornet 2 times (during pics with the bride and groom). Not that I think that is their fault.

We go out for brunch with DH's mom the next day and before our meal comes she asks us to say grace in the restaurant and join our hands. DH and I do not have beliefs(well, we do have beliefs, but they are opposing to the families beliefs...as in we do not believe that there is a god), but are respectful of others, or at least I try to my best ability. However, his mom will continually ask us to go to church and other things because, as she has stated to others, she feels ashamed, crushed and to blame that her son fell from the faith. I stated that 'no thank you, but go ahead' and she said, 'no, it's ok, you can do it'. 'No, I'm fine, but you guys go ahead'. DH hasn't taken anyone's hand either. I get a look from her and then she grabs my hand and say's 'it's ok'. Then as they are saying grace with their heads down the waitress comes, hands full and tries to set down the food, but can't because all the arms are up and she can't fit the plates inside. She looks like she is about to lose it so I break the chain and help take a plate from her. I of course then get another look from MIL. ughhhhhhhhhhh

We get home and are just having general conversation when the subject of hobbies came up. We talk about multiple things then she says "oh, I saw that skirt you made on facebook, you did the hemline all wrong". Thanks...as noted in the comments on the pic, this was the first skirt I ever made and I know it isn't perfect, but I felt like it was pretty decent, I even wore it the next day.

I just felt really torn down and....disconnected from the family. I know that I have to let it go, but it gets hard when it feels like it cuts to the core. I don't want to fight or push my beliefs, I just don't want to be forced to participate in theirs. Amusingly enough, when the rest of MIL's family was in town, she and her BF had separate rooms in their hotel, since they are not currently married....but when they left early sunday morning.....MIL and BF came to stay with us in the same bed.....HMMM. Sounds a little not of the faith. I don't care which she does, but it should stay consistent. IMO

AND Now my rant is over.....If you read to the end....I am sorry. I needed to vent. Thanks again.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow it's like reading the relationship me and my hubby have with his family right now. They say they respect us, but do lots of things that are like a slap in the face. The most important thing is that you and your husband make decisions together because you are a family. What they don't know is how bad they are hurting the relationsihp they have with you. Hang in there, things may get better.
    3644 days ago
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