Starting From Where I Am
Monday, June 27, 2011
There's this older gentleman who I see every once in awhile as I'm nearing the end of my painfully long commute home. When I see him, he's always exercising. His exercise routine is to walk to the end of his driveway and back. I've never had the opportunity to watch his full cycle, but I suspect that he might do this back-and-forth a couple of times before quitting. Now, some people might find this fitness routine to be somewhat pathetic, being that his driveway is flat and only a couple hundred feet long, but I always find myself feeling very proud of him. He's an older guy who has obvious health conditions, and there he is out there every day walking--putting one foot in front of the other. I always feel both proud of him, and grateful for my own strong body and my ability to walk, and sometimes even run, for miles at a time.
In recent months, I've fallen off the wagon. I'm not sure how or when it started exactly, but after getting married this past October, I lost some of my momentum. I've gained a bunch of wedding bliss poundage. I've shifted my focus to other things. I've stopped running and even walking as regularly as I'd like. I've stopped tracking my calories as faithfully as I was. It's frustrating because I worked so hard and got so far. I vowed to myself that I'd never go back--that I was on a one-way track to a healthy skinny new me. I broke that promise and betrayed myself.
I haven't posted any blogs because I knew that if I did, I'd have to own up to that betrayal, and I didn't want to aknowledge how ashamed I am at myself, and how much of a failure I feel like. But, I have to get back on the wagon, and I have to start where I am despite the shame. So, I'm going to take a lesson from the driveway man and do what I can with what I have. One foot in front of the other, to the end of the driveway and, eventually, beyond.