By all rights, I should be angry.
I should be screaming and swearing at my betraying body that has, in one week, gained back the two back to back hard-fought losses of the prior two weeks. You know, the first losses in God knows how long?
Yeah, I should be PO'd.
And it's weird, but I'm not.
It is PMS time (which explains much of the gain, I suppose), and I should be RAILING.
I am also waiting to hear on two possible jobs. For people who told me last week that I'd hear by the end of that week. And the previous week they had made that promise about the prior week. Yeah, I should be LIVID.
But I'm strangely not.
Perhaps I've hit the zen sweet spot. I don't know.
I do know that getting angry and laying blame hasn't done a damned bit of good. All that's gotten me is tired. Not thinner, not faster, not a job. Just tired.
Now, this is not gonna be a rah-rah blog about how adversity is good for us, yadda yadda yadda.
Truth be told, adversity STINKS. Even if you want to do difficult things, there just comes a point where you wanna cry Uncle, where the 27+ miles walked and the 1600 - 1800 calorie diet followed last week shoulda done SOMETHING. It can be hard to make that effort and to feel that it is all for naught -- but the truth is, it was not for nothing.
Alas, though, it does not always come across on the scale. What is most maddening is the fact that putting it on is EASY. It does not take much to slip. It is, you are often like the little Dutch boy, with his finger in the dike, trying to hold back the river and finding it nigh well impossible.
But taking it off is HARD. Don't EVER let ANYONE tell you that this is easy. The first few steps can, actually, feel easy. But the long haul, the years, the miles, the stacked up plates full of good food choices that stretch from here to the moon?
Those are difficult.
This journey takes a LOT. Don't ever let anyone tell you this is a walk in the park, even if you're walking in the park when they tell you that.
You are the strongest people I know.