Binging and Breakthroughs - Day 1/94*
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Yesterday was a bad, bad day. I accidentally - ha, accidentally? - declared it a 'fat' day. That clearly has BAD SIGN written all over it. Not only was yesterday a 'fat' day, it was a binge day. It's never a good day when you somehow end up with food and/or beverages from Starbucks, Wendy's, Mcdonalds and Tropical Smoothie...
Trust me. Yesterday was NOT in my budget - calories or money.
So yes, I'm being honest which is allegedly the best policy, but the truth of yesterday? AWFUL. PAINFUL. HORRIBLE.
But you know what happened? The sun - thankfully - came up. I was wide awake by 5:30am and at the gym by 5:55am. I ran a miles and then walked half a mile. I did 32 knee push-ups. I did a set of lat pulldowns. I did 25 crunches.
What I didn't do? I didn't let yesterday interfere with my today. I let yesterday have its place in the hall of shame. I know I can't be the only person struggling with weight issues that has "those days." You know the ones. Perhaps yours consist of fried foods, comfort foods, chips, cookies or other sweets, etc. You let your day revolve around food and your choices spiral out of control until you don't recognize yourself. You might not even like yourself. You would rather continue eating and sabotaging yourself to the point where you don't even know how to climb out of that dark place.
But you know what? I crawled out. I told myself before I went to bed last night that yesterday was unacceptable and that tomorrow (this morning) wasn't an opportunity to pretend like the destruction didn't happen, rather focus on what's broken and how to prevent it from happening again.
So, how do I keep it from happening again? I had all the answers until this question, but I do know this:
-I ran today and it felt good. REALLY good. It reminded me that hey, I LIKE getting up and working out before work and I LIKE how my body feels after a run.
-I can either dwell on yesterday's mistakes or embrace today's chance to change. By dwelling on the mistakes of yesterday and all of the other 'yesterdays' i lose the opportunity to be successful. That's no fun. I like being successful. And happy. And healthy. And fit. (Well, I think I'd like being fit. I'll let you know when I get there!)
-I like myself better when I'm happy. I'm happy when I eat right and exercise. I am a better wife, friend, puppy mommy, daughter, sister, all-around Ashley when I take time to put myself first. By putting myself first, I'm not being selfish. In all honesty, I'm allowing myself the opportunity to be and do better for other people.
So, here I am. Day one. Again.
(You may be saying to yourself, "but Ashley, didn't you JUST post a blog like, last week with the same tune?")
Yes, I'm a broken-record. But I assure you my song is still playing...slow, quiet and probably off-key. But it's there.
As the song lyrics say, "There is beauty in the breakdown."
*For the next 94 days leading up to the wedding - EEKS! YAY! WOO! - I will post more frequent updates on how things are going, how I'm feeling, what's working, what's not working, etc.