Thursday, April 28, 2011
"Pasta is a bowl of sugar, briefly deferred" Arthur De Vany
I'm not writing this blog to get on myself, but to understand more why I get insatiable cravings for sugar.
The other day, I wanted cookies. I talked myself out of them, two days in a row. yesterday, I gave in. I eventually ate the entire batch, minus a cookie I shared with my roommate (I tried to pass four off on her, but she has self-control.. she goes in her room and closes the door until they disappear!).
Today, I went out for a sensible meal with a friend. I was still hungry, so I thought I'd have gelato as a small treat. The gelato woke up a hungry monster in me. I haven't been eating well for a day or two, so it could be that my body was craving whatever it could get. Since I wasn't eating well, I wasn't interested in anything remotely healthy. So, this may explain why I was able to eat a pint of gelato only an hour later.. yes, in addition to the first serving.
Have you ever eaten enough sugar to make yourself sick, and not known why? i think there is a threshold of white flour, sugar, etc. that, once i cross it, is like the point of no return. i'm suddenly able to eat far more than i should.. and feel great until it is over. The trick is, I feel so in control that after days, weeks, whatever, I always end up dancing with that line, and getting tricked by it all over again.
I'm not looking up 25 pounds from now, wondering what went wrong. NO WAY.
People who aren't addicted to sugar often say that sugar in moderation is not a problem. When I get rid of sweets (other than fruit), I feel like I have control over what I'm eating. When I eat a regular meal, I can tell when I'm full. When I eat a bunch of sugar, I can keep going.. my satiety cues are blown. I know these types of foods are the worst for my health, so that is a bad combination.
I'll do some more thinking about this later. Just thought I'd be accountable and let you know... it would be too easy to log into SP only when I'm active and never let you know about my struggles. I'm not going to wash myself in guilt over this one, however, I'm going to work towards a solution. I'm going to read some of the books that I've already purchased on this, and think about what approaches will work well for me (while I love extremes, they often lead to binges for me as well). For now, I'm off to watch Black Swan and drink some green tea. I'm seriously concerned about how my tummy is going to fare with all of this.