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oh dear

Thursday, April 28, 2011

"Pasta is a bowl of sugar, briefly deferred" Arthur De Vany

I'm not writing this blog to get on myself, but to understand more why I get insatiable cravings for sugar.

The other day, I wanted cookies. I talked myself out of them, two days in a row. yesterday, I gave in. I eventually ate the entire batch, minus a cookie I shared with my roommate (I tried to pass four off on her, but she has self-control.. she goes in her room and closes the door until they disappear!).

Today, I went out for a sensible meal with a friend. I was still hungry, so I thought I'd have gelato as a small treat. The gelato woke up a hungry monster in me. I haven't been eating well for a day or two, so it could be that my body was craving whatever it could get. Since I wasn't eating well, I wasn't interested in anything remotely healthy. So, this may explain why I was able to eat a pint of gelato only an hour later.. yes, in addition to the first serving.

Have you ever eaten enough sugar to make yourself sick, and not known why? i think there is a threshold of white flour, sugar, etc. that, once i cross it, is like the point of no return. i'm suddenly able to eat far more than i should.. and feel great until it is over. The trick is, I feel so in control that after days, weeks, whatever, I always end up dancing with that line, and getting tricked by it all over again.

I'm not looking up 25 pounds from now, wondering what went wrong. NO WAY.

People who aren't addicted to sugar often say that sugar in moderation is not a problem. When I get rid of sweets (other than fruit), I feel like I have control over what I'm eating. When I eat a regular meal, I can tell when I'm full. When I eat a bunch of sugar, I can keep going.. my satiety cues are blown. I know these types of foods are the worst for my health, so that is a bad combination.

I'll do some more thinking about this later. Just thought I'd be accountable and let you know... it would be too easy to log into SP only when I'm active and never let you know about my struggles. I'm not going to wash myself in guilt over this one, however, I'm going to work towards a solution. I'm going to read some of the books that I've already purchased on this, and think about what approaches will work well for me (while I love extremes, they often lead to binges for me as well). For now, I'm off to watch Black Swan and drink some green tea. I'm seriously concerned about how my tummy is going to fare with all of this.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    ok. well it's been 2 months since you ran a marathon but you did that! YOU! DID THAT! you can DO this too.
    3697 days ago
    I am addicted to sugar. I am now waking up 25 lbs later and wonder how I got here. I maintained my weight for 2 years but then caved to my addiction & kept caving day after day.

    I have to keep the bad stuff out of my house. I've even stopped buying sugar for baking so that I can't bake that batch of cookies. People that can have sugar in moderation don't understand. If there is a cookie in my house it will call me and haunt me until I eat it! lol

    Be strong. Put it behind you and start fresh. But also be understanding of yourself. You just ran a marathon :)
    3697 days ago
    When I get sick, like a cold, I take it as a license to eat. It's been weeks since I got over that cold and the other day I bought 2 packs of twizzlers and a dollar box of jujyfruits. Ate them all throughout the night and was actually wishing the next day for some more. Sugar is the enemy for me along with chips and crackers. I shouldn't have them in the house because I WON'T resist them. We just have to keep plodding along, learning and venting along the way.
    3702 days ago
    Sugar is my battle too. It's soooooo hard to control, especially when you indulge. Cookies, brownies, spiced bun, oh my! lol..

    I usually mix a batch of fiber before I eat anything. Like mix Benefiber or Metamucil before I eat anything. Keeps my tummy full and controls my insulin.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3708 days ago
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