Saturday, April 16, 2011
Okay, I feel sort of dumb posting things, since it all came out well in the end. I have a cat, a child if you will to me and well it was a nice day out and I decided to take him on the porch for some fresh air since he has been stuck in the house all winter. So I sit down on the porch with him and he jumps out of my arm and goes under the house. Okay, that was fine but that night, when he was supposed to have come back, he didn't. I crawled under the house, I called him, check the door a zillion times over the next couple days and still nothing.
I got so upset that he didn't come back, I cried as if I lost him forever. Not a good feeling. I think the morning of the second day he was missing I had a crying dream that he died, not fun. So on the third night he finally came back and I was so happy! I hate when these cats go out and don't return for a few days. I know it's a long time to be cooped up in the house and I don't know what new things are lurking around out there and I live in a remote area, woods and a lot of open land galore. He's back and I'm okay now.
During that time, I barely ate and if I did eat, I ate poorly. I didn't drink my water, the goal I strive for every day, not even four cups of water. Now that he's back, I didn't drink four glasses today. I think this is a bump and it's not good. I didn't even exercise which is doubly not good.
It seems like I go strong for the first few days and slack off at the end, is that a way of telling me that I should work out Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and leave the rest of the days alone, as long as I got my exercise in? I don't know, what do you do? What should I do? Any advice to combat that laziness, that mentality of 'I worked my three days, what more do you want?' I hate these little 'reward' tricks to get me to do something. Like a kid, 'if you clean your room, I'll give you a piece of candy/a dollar.' Why can't I just see it as something I need to do rather than a thing I have to do?
I want to be the type of person who whips their hair in a bun, claps her hands a few times and yelled, "Let's do this!" and does it rather than do all of that and all the air comes out like a deflating balloon and goes and sits down.
I need someone who is on my ass all the time. Someone who e-mails, someone to is virtually pulling me up to get each day started with a bang. I need someone who boarder lines annoying, I need someone who e-mails like a crazy ex wanting me back. I need a person who will not take no for an answer and who shuts me up when I try and make excuses. If you're up for it or know someone who could help me, please pass this blog along. I want to feel accountable to someone and feel terrible for letting them down. I need serious in my life. That kick in the ass will be my saving grace. I need help. Badly.