Friday, April 15, 2011
Followed my meal plan for the third day in a row...yipeee !
Furthermore I cycled for 45 minutes yesterday evening - and this morning again! By 6.30 in the morning I had already done my exercise for the day... feels really good! I do have a lot of resistance against going out, I discuss a lot with myself but finally made it and as soon as I am on the bike and away, it is just great. I want to have my bike computer on, I haven´t fully figured out how to attach all parts yet, but I think I will be even more motivated when I can read numbers - how many kilometres I have done.
Yesterday I talked about me eventual diagnose adhd with my brother - he went off in a tantrum about "stupid psychiatrist" and "idiotic health care" and the usual pattern in my family when we disagree or the conversation starts getting ugly is that we either end it quickly or change subject - then we don´t speak for a while. This time I tried to hang in there and present my perspective without being defensive or aggressive - just trying to tell him why I wanted to discuss the thing at all. I felt very uncomfortable and upset afterwards, I stood up for myself (I am the little sister....) and although we did not quarrel and the conversation ended in a friendly way it made me very uncomfortable to leave my usual pattern... change is painful. I tried to phone an OA-friend - following the "recipe" of the big book that says that if you get angry or scared you should a) do a prayer b) tell a friend and c) turn outwards and help somebody. I said the prayer but none of the contacts answered and then I gave a lot o positive feedback to the fishmonger (?) that comes once a week to our village store to sell fresh fish... had salmon fillet for dinner, great! Today it is herring time, cheap and nutritious...
Thanks for reading