Sick, sick, sick...
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I am back in obsessive mode - I fail to stick to my meal plan every day and start to compensate the next day which throws me into binge mode again etc. etc. I am really sick and tired of being sick and tired...
Yesterday I brought my bike with me to town and parked the car at the place where the lucn SS-meeting is held. After lunch I was due to a seminare and I cycled there. Afterwards I cycled to my massagetherapeut and afterwards back to the car. In all 30 minutes of cycling which is my goal - but I feel bad because I had planned to go cycling for another hour after coming home but I just fell apart and ended on the sofa for the rest of the day.
It is time to surrender and admit that I am back in BED (binge eating disorder) full time... I need to humbly start over with working step one-three:
1.We admitted that we were powerless over food - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.
I admit that I am powerless over food - my life is a wreck as long as I overeat, because however great I do at work, or with my economy, or with exercising or taking care of the daughter - it does not give me any serenity or harmony as long as the food is chaos.
Time to get real again...