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Sick, sick, sick...

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I am back in obsessive mode - I fail to stick to my meal plan every day and start to compensate the next day which throws me into binge mode again etc. etc. I am really sick and tired of being sick and tired...

Yesterday I brought my bike with me to town and parked the car at the place where the lucn SS-meeting is held. After lunch I was due to a seminare and I cycled there. Afterwards I cycled to my massagetherapeut and afterwards back to the car. In all 30 minutes of cycling which is my goal - but I feel bad because I had planned to go cycling for another hour after coming home but I just fell apart and ended on the sofa for the rest of the day.

It is time to surrender and admit that I am back in BED (binge eating disorder) full time... I need to humbly start over with working step one-three:

1.We admitted that we were powerless over food - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

I admit that I am powerless over food - my life is a wreck as long as I overeat, because however great I do at work, or with my economy, or with exercising or taking care of the daughter - it does not give me any serenity or harmony as long as the food is chaos.

Time to get real again...
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  • no profile photo CD5233545
    emoticon lol
    3478 days ago
    Straight talking coming....
    Nobody said you had to ride that bike for an extra hour, it would have been nice but you were tired. It could well be that the binge/fast cycle is throwing your hormones out of order so be kind to yourself for a day or so, have a few "good carbs" and then hit the salads and veggies when you feel stronger. We have all been where you are or we wouldn't be using this site, so hang in there gal, we're with you EVERY step, not just 1-3!!
    best wishes, Sandra
    3479 days ago
  • LINDA!
    I go through periods of time where I am in the same situation as you. You have my prayers!! emoticon
    3480 days ago
  • SILLYHP1953
    There's nothing wrong with starting over...I think we're supposed to every day anyway, maybe every hour, or every minute! The steps do work.

    Have you tried telling your brain positive affirmations all day long? Even if we don't actually believe them, supposedly our brain listens to what we say. Louise Hay has really good ones. I've read suggestions about posting them all over the house to remind you to say them to yourself. Positive affirmations work, too.

    And if you have the slightest belief in angels, asking them to help you works, too.

    3480 days ago
    It sounds like you get into binge mode when you try to compensate for the past. Some trainers believe in carb-binge days, that they increase the metabolic rate for a few days.

    And exercising a lot to compensate instead of to enjoy, will make most people feel down-that's tagging the exercise as a punishment, when really it's something you sort of enjoy. That is a double rip-off, to lessen what you know you enjoy and then berate yourself because you do it! At least, that is about what the subconscious hears, and it just makes it tired! emoticon
    3480 days ago
    emoticon Thanks for the honesty I am right there with you, struggling, but we can do this.
    3480 days ago
    emoticon Hang in there, Meddy. I'm back in the starting position myself, beginning with steps 1-3.
    3481 days ago
    My sympathy, Meddy - and as DSJB said, we need to put the bad day behind us instead of trying to redress and compensate for it.

    But I know, it's not at all easy to do...
    3481 days ago
  • DSJB9999
    Oh how I understand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    We need to write one bad day off and not try to compensate for it.

    Be proud of the achievement - the cycle ride to your therapist is great.

    I am today in a good place, I haven't been over the weekend, I've been on a real eat fest but we both can overcome this (at least today)! One day at a time!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3481 days ago
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