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Last Blog As Jhadzhia, Shutting Down

Saturday, April 09, 2011

I have had health problems since the day I was born. Lost some of my hearing because they thought I was a colicky baby when in reality I was having serious ear infections. It didn't stop there and my life was a relentless chain of one health issue after another. At age 6 1/2, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I spent a month in the hospital being poked and prodded in a strange, scary environment. Then at age nine, I had my first surgery, an eardrum repair. This was the theme of my life. At age 48, I have had both elbows replaced, both knees replaced and both feet repaired. Pending is another foot repair and a hip replacement. It never seems to end. But I have never given up. I just get back up and get on the exercise wagon once more. It hasn't been easy. I ballooned up my weight twice when I got the attitude nothing will ever go well for me why should I bother??? Just became a couch potato and filled my face with what ever I felt like eating. But there was still a little life left in me. A little Spark. One of my surgeons said he wouldn't operate on me unless I lost the weight. A wake up call. Stay morassed in severe pain or get off my a$$ and move it. I chose to move it. Got back on my exercising. I had my own elliptical so lack of transportation wasn't an excuse. It also was no impact so the grinding of bone on bone didn't hurt as much. At first 5 minutes just about killed me. I was that bad out of shape. But I kept at it. I also made it to aquafit whenever I could. Again, no excuses, no impact to hurt my screaming joints.. Believe it or not, I actually started to feel better. Those endorphins helped with the pain. I got a better tolerance for the pain. As the final part of my journey, I joined Curves to add the only kind of strength training I could do safely. I toned up and shaped up. But my health story wasn't over. I was recently told I have severe osteoporosis with a bone density of -3.1 when normal is 0. I was told by my physiotherapist I should refrain from high impact cardio in case of fractures. Because of my artificial elbows, I am no longer allowed to lift more than five pounds. Hardly adequate to strength train. So my challenge is how to continue my healthy lifestyle, keep the weight off and somehow get back my bone density. Walking doesn't keep me cardio fit, its not enough, but it will hold the line, hopefully, from further bone loss. My trusty elliptical can still challenge me with intervals. But the writing is on the wall. I knew my condition would get relentlessly worse and that a wheelchair WILL be in my future. Maybe sooner then later at this rate. Its time to get my affairs in order and declutter so I can be prepared to move into a tiny room. My Mom finally wants to travel and before I become incapacitated, I need to join her. I need to do it while I still can walk for miles and miles :) Neither of us drives, so walking is it for us, and besides that is the best way to see new places. Mom complains I am on the computer a lot and I am, and its all on Spark People only. So as much as I love it here and all the friends I have made, its time to let a lot of it go. Too much of a good thing. I am on my third go around reading the articles, doing the quizzes and the Health A-Z just trying to earn points. Really, a waste of time, but I love to give goodies so I keep up doing it.
I will try, once in a while to drop by and see how everyone is doing. Please keep up with Spark People until your journey is truly finished and you have the skills and ability to continue in real life. Its really, really a great thing and so very helpful and encouraging. I know I learned a lot and got and gave support like I have never had in my life. You are awesome! You are the best! You rock!
Keep up the great work!! You can do this!!
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Its time for me to just do it!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    212 days ago
    You are emoticon and brave. Best wishes in the journey of life you have planned!
    539 days ago
    What an incredible message.
    1059 days ago
  • no profile photo CD17249326
    Just read this because I wanted to learn a little about you! What an amazing story! So proud of you and your being able yo let go and do what you know you should! I hope all is well! And thank you for all the support!💕
    1084 days ago
    Wow what an inspiration you are to me and others! Keep up that positive attitude, I'm right there with you! Good Luck. emoticon emoticon
    1085 days ago
    Wow what an inspiration you are to me and others! Keep up that positive attitude, I'm right there with you! Good Luck. emoticon emoticon
    1085 days ago
    You have a fabulous attitude! emoticon
    1245 days ago
    Linda, you will be missed! I hope you enjoy traveling with your mom. emoticon
    1251 days ago
    Linda, I've lost track of your blogs. Please see if you can touch base with me. I love reading your blogs.

    3560 days ago
  • HAPPY92003
    I will miss your blogs, your enthusiasm, your strength and your support...but I understand it is your time to move on:) Enjoy travelling with your mom and wring every bit of life out of every day that you can! We will be cheering you on and waiting to hear about your adventures when you pop back in to give us an update:)



    3721 days ago
    OH noooo Linda!! I just saw this blog. I haven't been on a lot. I can't believe you aren't on here as much anymore. I truly understand though. I just took a break from school so that I could and prepare for a job relocation with my husband.

    I wish you well and I hope you feel better and it all works out for you and your family.

    You are missed!!!
    3722 days ago
    I will miss you and wish you all the best on your journey. I will still send goodies your way in case you check in. Wishing you all the best and sending healing thoughts your way!
    3746 days ago
  • WRUSH68
    Sorry I'm just seeing this. I noticed I hadn't seen you on my feed and missed you. You were always encouraging and positive. Take care.
    3749 days ago
  • LESLIES537
    Oh Linda, where do I begin?! I've had to come back to write my response because I was so overcome with emotion when I first read your blog. I'm going to miss you SOOOO much! You're doing what's best for you and for that I'm proud, but it's not going to be the same without you! emoticon You've been a huge pillar in my support system...always there with some great advice and have been such an amazing friend to me. Not only have we built an awesome friendship, but you've inspired me along the way. I can say I definitely appreciate my health much more than after meeting you. To hear about all that you do--ie, hiking miles upon miles, working out daily, supporting people by typing with just two fingers---all while dealing with major health issues and pain...well, it's awe-inspiring. I think about you often and don't you think that will stop! Thank you for being such a dear friend. I hope to hear from you if possible and keep up with the new profile. If you ever decide to visit the midwest (USA), I'd love to meet you! You always have a place to stay at my house and you are more than welcome to visit ANYtime! I love you Linda!! Enjoy your travels! I'll be anxious to hear from the new JHADZHIA...(PLEASE add me to your new profile!! I understand you'll be low key, and that's OK!!) :) HUGS, PRAYERS, LOVE!!!!

    P.S. Your presence here on SP has made such a huge impact on hundreds and hundreds of people. You are a legend in my book! THANK YOU for EVERYTHING!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3756 days ago
  • ENUFF81020
    I am glad that this page is staying here and that you will visit from time to time because you are inspiring to so many--and your story needs to be shared.

    I am also glad that you are planning some travel and fun with your mom. Now is a great time to do that when tomorrow can bring all kinds of reasons to wait.

    Thanks for being such a good friend and an inspiration to all who cross your path.
    Gentle hugs,
    3756 days ago
    I will miss you and best of luck in your new traveling adventures!!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3757 days ago
    I will miss your blogs, but am so happy that you are making the best choices for yourself. Travelling with your Mom sounds like it will be exciting...savor every moment!

    3757 days ago
  • SILLYHP1953
    I'm really glad you and your mom are going to travel...I hope you get to visit every place you want to go. We're going to Sturgis, SD in August for their big bike week, never been before. This life has given you a hard row to hoe, but you've made a garden.
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    3757 days ago
    Sorry to see you go, but I do understand. You are one of my Spark heros, and I hope you'll stop by whenever you're in the neighbourhood. As for real life, should your travels ever bring you my way, I'd love to host you and your mum for a visit!
    3757 days ago
    Sorry to see you go.

    Best of luck in the future.

    I hope you don't take down your page. That's so I/we can stop by occasionally to see if there are any comments, status updates, etc. and so that we might send you a goodie now and then.

    3757 days ago
    Even as you are saying goodbye as Jhadzhia, you continue to inspire and motivate me and many others. What a wonderful example of living life to the fullest you are!! May you and your mom have many safe travels...knowing we are thinking of you!!! May God continue to bless you both in all you do.
    If possible, stop in and let us know how you are doing and where are you traveling.
    Love and hugs,
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    3757 days ago
    Gollee Linda, I am in tears, to read this blog. I will miss you so much, I DO hope you will keep us abreast of things that are happening with you, via surgery, or whatever. That you DO get to travel while you can.

    Maybe a scooter chair is in order, NOT a wheelchair!!!! WC's are for OLD people....scooter chairs are for people still full of life, who can't make it under their own steam anymore.

    Keep hanging in there, KNOW, though you are not here like you were, that we are all thinking about you all the time.

    My prayers are with you , to have an enjoyable life in every way possible!!!!

    Love you, Kathy
    3757 days ago
  • MUSIC66
    you will be truley missed i hope you a bright future.
    3757 days ago
    You are making the right choices for you. What a supportive SP friend you have been to me and to so many others -- and what an inspiration, given your health challenges and your courage in keeping on keeping on.

    I do hope you have the opportunity to travel and see lots of the world. Now is the time!! You're the kind of person who will get the maximum out of it, right now and for laying down memories for the future too if at some point your mobility does become reduced (and of course we hope it doesn't).

    We know you'll be dropping back as you choose; but time is so precious and your use of your time has to be allocated with your own best interests first and foremost!!
    3757 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2357972
    Good for you for knowing what you need to do! I wish you all the best, my friend!

    3757 days ago
    You have been an absolutely GREAT SparkFriend. You have given me so much good advice and tremendous support. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    I so hope you find just what you need.Sorry about all your health challenges. Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair.

    Sure hope you and your mom really enjoy your travels. That could be great. I bet it will be.

    And with your determination, I'm sure you will stay mobile just as long as absolutely possible. And maybe you'll get a table or counter and finally sit down and truly enjoy your meals. Enjoy every bite. Make every bite count nutritionally and satisfaction-wise. Then even if you can burn only a few calories, you'll still be able to control your weight. At least that is worth a good try.

    Take care. Again, thanks for all you've done to support me. I'm glad you will keep in touch from time to time. You are wise to prioritize and do what benefits you the most! I'm glad you are going to do that for you!!
    3758 days ago
    I know I'm not the only one who will miss you and think of you often - if you and your mom ever want to come to California, get in touch with me for a place to stay.

    Good luck with your future and thanks for inspiring so many people!

    PS - I decided long ago that just because someone wants something from me, that doesn't mean I have to give it!! In other words, you might telephone but I don't have to answer - so while it's really nice to get notes from people, I do not feel the obligation to respond to each one - if I did, I would spend waaaaay too much time online myself! So just do whatever you CAN do and the heck with anyone who doesn't like it. That might help you survive, even as Jhadzia! Either way, good luck and hope to hear from you now and then!
    3758 days ago
    I'm so sorry for your latest health troubles. I wish you all the best, and totally understand the need to take time for you and your Mom.
    3758 days ago
  • REJ7777
    I hope that you and your mom have many wonderful experiences during your travels, and that your health holds out so that you can travel for quite a long time!

    I'll miss you a lot, because you've always been such a blessing and source of encouragement to me!

    But real life trumps virtual life anytime!
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    3758 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/9/2011 4:15:02 PM
    I do hope that you will keep your Page active so that we can get updates occasionally. I will miss seeing you in the Curves Huddles, but you are right to give "Real Life" the Priority right now.

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    3758 days ago
    Please, please come back much sooner than later!

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    3758 days ago
    You know I'll miss you and will welcome you back any time you choose to return to SparkPeople. I was just reading another friend's comments about how she can't fathom how people with chronic pain can survive. I plan to tell her about you. Linda, I don't care what they say. You should never, ever, ever give up. Even in a wheelchair, I can see you doing marathons.

    You're an inspiration and a shining example!
    3758 days ago
  • KELLY40222
    Linda you are someone who truly motivates me. You power on through life even though life has given you lots of very crappy things to deal with. For someone who is so active, I just can't wrap my head around the idea of you in a wheelchair. I hope that you have many travels and adventures ahead of you. Please stop by on occasion and let us know how you are doing. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for being such a great friend!

    3758 days ago
    Will miss you Linda. Keep coming back if you can.
    I, too, am planning on travelling in the not too distant future, as it is something I have always wanted to do & wish to do before it is too late, so, eventually will probably not be on Spark too often either, but getting into real life, as it should be!
    Take care & enjoy your travels with your Mom.
    Will be praying for you.
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    3758 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8158758
    You are bringing tears to my eyes! Breaks my heart what you are going through! But, your courage gives me hope and inspiration! Hey, I lost another pound today! You are the first to know!! Good luck and have fun traveling! Do keep in touch and let us know how you are! Will miss you! Connie emoticon
    3758 days ago
    I/we will miss you. Do try to come back now and then. Even if only once a month, once a week or a few mins here and there.

    You truly are an amazing inspiration of what can be done NO MATTER WHAT!

    Enjoy your travels with your mother and I wish you well.

    SparkPeople will always be here when you get back and need some community love, help or just a place to write.

    3758 days ago
    Speaking of awesome and the best, those are descriptors I would give to you. You are an inspiration, and a walking example of determination and "doing it" paying off. I wish you well in your focus on your offline life!

    - Barb
    3758 days ago
    Wow - If that is not inspirational i don't know what is - Thank you
    3758 days ago
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