Monday, March 28, 2011
Another blog (thanks Christurtle) remind me that my nephews sons christiening on saturday WILL be a family event that will stir emotions. I have not thought so because there are no big conflicts involved, I will not have to travel to participate and it is not my grandchild... but having learned that christenings, weddings and funerals are the most stressful events for a family system, I realise that I have to take care of myself and respect that I will be affected by the situation. Hmm:
-It is the grandfather and his new wife that will host the gathering after the christening at church. They live nextdoor to me and my sister is not comfortable with socializing with her former husband. I will feel this "in the air" and get stressed.
- My nephews wife is from Peru and has her mother visiting - she speaks only spanish and is very nice but it is a straain to be polite and make sure that she feels allright. Also, my sister is fighting jealousy and deserted feelings because this other grandmother is much closer to her first grandchild... my sister is trying to deal with these emotions because she knows that they are neither realistic nor healthy, but still, it is a strain for her and thereby also for me as I can sense them.
- my brother usually drags any new woman he is dating to family occasions - also a thing that my sister has a very hard time to accept and I don´t like it that much either because it is enough strain to deal with the family and a strange women feels awkward. My sister will get grumpy, my brother will sense it and become grumpy too and I will be the little sister that gets nervous and tries to make everybody feel allright with it...
– My daughter wants to come and I have to ask her father to change weekends because it is not my normal weekend to have her. I dread to mail him because I dread every situation where he is involved.
So...although I thought that this was nothing special it all sums up to a ot of things that will affect my emotional balance. I need to be aware and take care of myself.
Thanks for reading.