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I have a problem what would you do?.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

I have a problem what would you do?. My best FRIEND is my older sister Jeanne. She is my confident, my best friend and my hero. Well I have a problem with her. I have always been the younger sister , dumber , not so like sister. I have a speech defect Jeanne have prefect speech. I have no man in my life Jeanne been happy marry for over 35 years to my wonderful brother in law. She have four great kid in their twenty. I have a dog name lacey. I am not complain just explaining. I am now about to reach 149 for the first time in thirty year. The problem is the more weight I loss the more unhappy SHE GET. It not that she isn’t happy for me because SHE IS.. She my greatest cheer leader , It just that my weight emphasis the fact that she can’t seem to lose. But she four year older than me and have trouble with menopause. Also she have thyroid problem. Also she have alife and I can spend more time working my program. So how to I feel good aBOUT NMY WEIGHT LOSS AND SHARE IT WOITHOUT GETTING HER MORE Depress? I know you probably DON’T HAVE THA ANSWER BUT JUST WRITING ABOUT IT HELP.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sure she may feel envy, but we always envy people who have something we want, that's the way we are made. She is proud of you and you should be very proud of your success. If she wants to know how you did it, she will ask. I am proud of you.

    3173 days ago
    Are there things you can do together that make you both feel accomplished? I have a friend who does that with me because we're too good at sitting around pointing out the things we don't like about ourselves.
    Can you tell her you feel this way? Sometimes that could help, if you're comfortable enough doing that.
    3174 days ago
    You are such a sweet sister and friend! You need to concentrate my friend on you right now. Don't worry about sis. Trust me these 4 years difference can mean a lot. Get this weight off now while you can. The older you get the worse it gets to lose it and there is always diabetes, heart problems, and this type thing. I should have taken this advise but didn't! emoticon
    3175 days ago
    Sometimes you have to do things for YOU and not worry too much about what other people think.
    3175 days ago
  • JERESS26
    There are many good thoughts and suggestions. Besides asking her to walk with you or exercise, perhaps share a well-balanced meal with her, showing her portions sizes. Perhaps help her to set up a profile on SP and show her the community. Be strong not only for yourself, but also for her. Continue to show her the love you have for her and be her friend.
    3175 days ago
    Be proud of your accomplishments. Your sister is leading her own life and has different accomplishments. She will lose weight when she's ready for it. Don't let it take away from what you're doing for yourself.
    3175 days ago
    It is admirable to feel concern for your sister. She is in command/control of her own body. You should revel in the fact what you are doing for yourself. If you have the time to dedicate to yourself...take it and run with it! Your sister needs to emulate you and take charge of her own situation and make her goals You can be supportive and encouraging but this is a load she has to carry.
    Keep your eyes on your goals. In other words be selfish for yourself and know you are doing something to benefit you.
    3176 days ago
    I'm sure she is just frustrated because she can't focus on dieting and it gets harder and harder to lose as yuo get older. As happy as she is for you she may just need your support.
    3176 days ago
    Maybe since she has been the one to "have it all" over you she is now jealous that you are attaining something she can't. I never had a sister so I really don't know how much competition there could be, but don't let her keep you from getting to your goal. You are right about the fact that because you are single you have the time to put into your fitness, but if her kids are grown she should be able to find time too. I have a thyroid problem too and have been through menapause and it does make it harder to lose, but it can be done. Good luck to you and don't give up your goal!
    3176 days ago
    I have been on both sides of this issue. I dont mean this to sound harsh but there really isnt much you can do, assuming you are kind, which judging by your blog, Id say you care for her very much and wouldnt rub it in her face in a cruel manner.

    I have a very close friend who has always had weight issues. She was the pretty one, I was the skinny one. Well times change and I gained weight but compared to her, I was still the skinny one. Well, a couple of years ago she started to drop the weight and I had a really hard time being happy for her because it made me feel so badly about myself. In the end, I was the one who needed to make the changes, not her. Now that I am happy with myself, I can be happy for others.

    I would just offer her love and support as you already seem to do, and maybe ask her next time if she minds if you share with her a little bit about your weight loss. I think that would let her know you are thinking about her feelings too.

    Hugs good luck and congrats on your accomplishments!
    3176 days ago
  • CARRIE1948
    I'm with 2Beefit, stop focusing on what you don't have or what your sister can't do easily. Losing weight is a struggle for everyone and it only happens when it becomes a priority in the person's life. You can't make it a priority for your sister just like she can't produce a man for you.

    Focus on what you have. See what support you can offer your sister on her journey. What have you learned that she could benefit from?
    3176 days ago
    I suggest you stop looking at what you or she don't have and focus on what you are both lucky to have.

    In weight loss your life roles are reversed. I would say, I have looked up to you for my whole life, and you have given me so much. I fill a lot of my empty spots with fitness, carving out a different kind of lifestyle for myself. If you can find the time I would love to give back to you for a change. Come walk with me, work out with me.

    Instead of coming from a place of jealousy and "have nots" come from a place of gratitude and love. I wish I had any kind of friendship with my little sister, but I don't. It might be something I need to work on. Don't let this thing ruin your relationship. She just feels uncomfortable not being your role model in this area.
    3176 days ago
    Our negative thoughts are always stronger in our minds than our happy thoughts. It's the way we are wired in the brain. Our ancestors needed to remember where that bear attacked last year and not that pretty sunset we saw last week. SO... you can privately BASK in the fact that you are accomplishing something. And that YOU ARE WORTH what good is coming out of it. When the negative thoughts start coming out, tell the person you want to be HEALTHY, and deflect the discussions over the physical appearance bonus. If she hasn't yet joined Spark People, you could send her an invite. Find a way to work together if she is ready and willing to try. If she isn't ready at this point, let her know when she IS ready... you are SO THERE to help out all you can. She needs to prioritize her life, and if she feels she NEEDS to lose weight too, then she will have to re-organize some LESS important things on her schedule to make that happen. Hope this helps w/o being preachy! lol
    3176 days ago
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