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Facing the moment I have been dreading.

Saturday, March 05, 2011

I knew the risk of moving back to this town and that is why I fought so hard for 6 years not to come here. I lost the battle, so here we are. It was a valiant effort, but in the end I was defeated.

Why did we move back? We were broke, losing our home, this town is cheaper and close to family (not a bonus on my end of the argument). So we live here now. My family is intact and not homeless and I have to drive 125 miles a day to work. Boo.

But my biggest reason for not wanting to return are the memories. In 1992, I was 13 and had a stalker. He was a pedophile who watched me for months going to and from school until he finally struck. I was defenseless against a gun, and even though the court case was technically a win for me, his punishment was rather underwhelming. He now lives less than 10 miles away.

For almost two decades I worried about seeing him again. It intensified when we moved back because the odds were higher that I would run into him. Last night it finally happened.

There was no confrontation, no drama, just a person on the other side of the restaurant. I didn't even react, really. It took me a moment to understand who I was looking at - he is much older, but in my mind he has been frozen in time for 20 years. I got a look of recognition from him. He knew who I was first. It was when he smiled at me that I realized who he was.

I feel like I'm okay. Maybe I'm in a bit of shock, but I seem to be handling things well. Maybe the anticipation of this moment was worse than the moment itself.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SALVAC
    Just the fact that you are writing down your feelings is so brave. You are a mother and that gives you special bravery. You will bring your family through this and you are already stronger for it. Each day... stronger.
    God Bless.
    emoticon
    3128 days ago
  • SONYARODRI29
    God bless you...you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. emoticon
    3130 days ago
  • MEL_PETE24
    Wow, what a hard thing to do! I'm glad you're ok! I'll pray for you that things will turn out ok, and that you'll be safe in your home. Good luck and God Bless! emoticon
    3146 days ago
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