Me and My Bed
Thursday, February 24, 2011
So it turns out that I'm currently having a co-dependent love affair with my bed. In other words, yep...I got sick. Try as I did to avoid it, it happened. So here I am, still staring at these walls, dreaming of running and going to the gym, and cursing myself every morning when I have to call off work.
It started Tuesday night. I actually got to the gym around 5:30pm...and then Cissy (my PT-ish person) pulled me in to do weight and measurements. Woot...i lost a lousy 4 pounds in a month. *rolls eyes* I didn't even hear if my waist measurement had gone down or not. I had to ASK if my body fat % had dropped - it had. So I talked to her for a bit, changed, talked to Hubs for a minute as he was on an elliptical machine, and then started the Line Dancing class.
I'd been away for a while and it was taking me some time to catch on. Plus, I was a little congested so I was a little slow. At one point, my instructor actually turned to me and said, "You might want to sit this one out." Which, of course, pissed me off to no end. Don't tell me what I can't do. For some reason or another, I got really upset at his insinuation that I was UNABLE. I walked out and refused to finish the class. I went downstairs with Hubs to ST, but only got one exercise in before my Zumba instructor started mentioning how she'd see me upstairs. *sigh* Sometimes, yes, I do feel obligated to do these classes, especially if I'm already AT the gym. Of course, that's partly a good thing, because it pulls me into working out. But I also know it's that leftover part of me that's eager to please so people will like me. :/
Well, even so, I only made it through about 10 minutes of class before I started getting a burning in my chest. I couldn't get a deep breath. It felt like I had something heavy on my chest, pressing down. My mind was trying to figure out what was wrong. I tried taking a break, but I couldn't get it to go back to normal. It HURT! (I also remembered that my blood pressure had been high when Cissy checked it - 150/100 for no apparent reason. WTF?) I got my stuff and fled the gym. I went straight home and straight to bed and turned out the light. I shivered and froze under four covers. I started getting a fever and THUS...I was sick.
I tried to THINK my way out of it. I told myself I could be sick for ONE NIGHT and then I had to get back to life. I had too much to do and I didn't have time to be sick. The next morning, I could NOT get out of bed. I was so completely exhausted I just couldn't move. I told myself I could have the day, and that was it. I felt better around 1pm or so. But by the time dinner rolled around, that 4 or so hours of blissful feeling "alright" had faded into stomach discomfort. I didn't care, I was GOING to work today. AND going to play practice. Opening night is TOMORROW!
GAH! Then this morning I was so dizzy that every time I tried to get to the shower I hit a wall...literally. I realized it was either, call off now, or call off the rest of my life for being DEAD when I crash - especially in the downpour I could hear outside. *sigh* I hated to do it, but I called off.
No clue if I'm going to practice tonight. It's an hour away. Should I drive an hour for an hour long play practice and then drive an hour back? It seems stupid to me. *sigh* I don't know what I'm doing yet. It might be different if Hubs would drive, but I haven't talked to him about that yet. I mean, I did want to try to find some shoes for tomorrow, so I could make the trip worth it, but I don't want to drive down there by myself like this.
The only upside to all of this? Weight has been coming off easy in the past 2 days! *lol* Of course, I know it will go back up once I start eating somewhat normally again. Right now, I'm scared to eat anything. *shrug*
So, in case you were wondering...I'm not here...because I'm totally in love with my bed right now. It's the ONLY thing that keeps me sane...even though my back hurts, my muscles feel like jello already, I have a headache for sleeping for about 30 hours in the past 48, and I want to scratch my eyeballs out for having to look at the same four walls. At least the kitties keep me company sometimes....