Why do we do this to ourselves?
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Here I am... months from my last post. After falling off the bandwagon yet again, I decided I needed to make a major change... especially while I am here at school. I just don't know how.
I've been so busy like every college student is, but I can't keep using that as an excuse. I walk with in 100 feet of one of the on-campus fitness centers at least once a day, usually three or four times. But I make the excuse that I need to be studying or I am exhausted or maybe just that I cannot fit a day's worth of course materials and my clothes for the gym in the same backpack. Those are the big ones that I use.
Tonight, I bought an Odwalla Protein Monster drink (chocolate). I am a big fan of smoothies and protein drinks, but the disease I have keeps me from getting fresh-made ones on campus because I'm allergic to bananas. I've been drinking the Strawberry C flavor for a while now without thought, so I decided to expand a bit today. And I drank the entire Protein Monster without bothering to look at the nutrition facts. 400 calories in that bottle? 400?! I was so angry with myself that I signed in to SparkPeople to track my food for the day and see how bad it really was.
I went over, and in come cases WAY over, my limits for the day on everything except protein, ironically. I had maybe one glass of actual water, and the rest was sugary juices and that ridiculous protein drink. And I made myself feel okay with it as I was doing it... rationalizing it. Closest place to get lunch? Let's get a chicken tender wrap from the specialty dining hall. Two or three iced caramel soy lattes a day? Gotta stay awake. Uncrustables? Easy sandwich on my way to class. Salmon and cream cheese rolls? Sushi is supposed to be good for you... isn't it?
I'm fully disgusted with me at current. And while positive thoughts are important, sometimes it is better to get the negative ones out than keep them bottled up inside. I need to find some way to work on this... to see what I am doing to myself.
Has anyone tried the BodyBugg? I was thinking today about purchasing one with my tax return, but I wanted to ask in case someone sees this and maybe tried one but didn't like it. If someone out there still has one and would be willing to let a broke college student try it out before she invests, that would be appreciated and would be sent back to you with a nice thank-you card as soon as I know how I feel about it. There is a TON of good feedback on how it records your daily burn, and I think that knowing how much I am taking in and not having to completely guess how much is going out would really help me.
Thanks SparkPeople. If nothing else, you are excellent for stopping me from lying to myself. But of course we all know that the spark is a lot more than that.