To the M A X...
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Put in on tape and drop it on infinite loop.
It’s been sometime since I’ve talked about losing weight. Maybe it’s because the more I work at it the less that anything happens. Granted, I sometimes let my weekends get away from me, but during the week I’m pretty strict with my diet; well within my calories. I’ve reset my weight, adjusted my caloric output and for what? NOT A %#$@ING THING!
Now, to be honest I don’t have a scale right now. I’ve not purchased a new one since before Christmas, but the other factors you can gauge loss by aren’t there either. Case in point; clothes. My clothes are just as snug now as they were back at the beginning of January. In 6 weeks time the waistband should have slacked SOMEWHAT, but alas no. I feel no smaller and that doesn’t help my mental HATRED of myself right now. I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror.
I’ve tried most everything anyone else here would have tried. If I decrease my calories, I don’t have the energy to get through my workouts or my stomach growls like a grizzly. If I add calories, God forbid, I feel like my pants won’t fit the next day. It’s almost as if I can FEEL the weight going on. It’s not in my head either. My work pants are growing snugger (is that a word?) and I feel powerless to stop them.
Training has been non-existent this week; life has gotten in the way. Hopefully I’ll be able to return to a normal schedule next week. This ice, snow and bitter temps have made it almost unbearable to be outside for long at all, but that looks to change next week. I keep reading about people who actually LOSE weight when running; how the hell does that happen? Is it impossible to lose ANY weight when training for a marathon? I set my loss at a modest 1.5 pounds several weeks ago and I’m still stuck.
Since starting the Vitamin D regime, I feel more energetic, but it’s in spurts. I was supposed to have a follow up appointment last week, but they cancelled due to lack of power. Now I can’t get a new appointment for another 5 weeks and I was hoping for more answers. I guess patience (not my best asset) will have to become my strong suit for a bit longer.
Sorry to be Negative Nancy, but I needed to get this out of my head and put it on paper.