Before we even get started, I simply MUST share this with those of you that haven't seen it. (Maybe I've just been living under a rock or something...)
It's an online contract you make with yourself. You put up money towards your goal and then report back each week on that goal. If you're successful, you keep your cash. If you aren't successful, they pull the money from your bank and send it to the place you designate - the most interesting idea to me being "an anti-charity," or a charity whose values and ideals you DO NOT support. Just think if you fail your fitness goal for the week and realize you've just sent 10 bucks to a charity supporting something you are morally against! EEP! That would most likely keep ME on track.
But, while it's an interesting idea...it feels a little ....negative to me. *shrug* I just feel like I need the ability right now to make mistakes and be okay with them. I have to spend this time learning that perfection is NOT what I'm after - consistency is. I need to let go of my half-baked notions that if I am not perfect, if I do not 100% follow-through with everything I say I want to do and/or am going to do, that I am not worth anything. Maybe later this site would be helpful, but right now I feel like it would feed into the negative fears I already read to myself every day and every week. Thoughts?
Now onto the good stuff.
Okay, so my eating was pretty good all day. I followed through with my goal of at least a 30-minute walk at lunch (actually did 35 minutes - 1.83 miles). Instead of setting out a route, I just walked. "Let's see how far we can go in this amount of time," I said to myself. And go I did. I actually surprised myself a little, walking all the way from my work to the mall and back basically. In April of last year, that would have been impossible to do at all probably...at least not with serious consequences to my body. Next time I hit one of these walks, we'll see if we can't go just a LITTLE faster or farther...
After work I headed straight to the gym. I had just enough time to do my ST before practice with my Vagina Monologues castmates.
ST for Monday:
Target: 4 sets - reps: 20/12/10/8
Done Last Week: 4 sets - reps: 12/10/10/8 w/just barbell weight
Actual Ths Week: 4 sets - reps: 12/8/6/5 w/just barbell weight
This is the best picture I've got...(someone find me a hot chick doing a seated military press with a barbell STAT! *lol*)
Yes, I was a little P.O.ed at myself. Why was this SO hard? Why couldn't I even match last weeks numbers, if not beat them? I worked to failure each time, so it wasn't me slacking off. And another thing...why are incline bench presses so much easier for me than these seated kind? Strange. Interesting. I decided not to be angry with myself, with my already sore and tired arms. I decided that this is an experiment, a lesson in learning how my body works. And I decided that by doing it at all, by working to failure, I had done what I set out to do. I can't be Superwoman all the time...even Superman needs time to be Clark Kent sometimes.
Standing Lateral Raises
Target: 4 sets - reps: 20/14/12/10
Actual: 4 sets - reps: 15/12/12/10 with 5lbs.
Oh, my poor shoulders! And, there's this issue with the weights on the rack verses the other set of weights...it's strange that the second set of 5 lb. weights felt much lighter to me than the first set. I don't know what it means, but it's interesting to note.
Behind the Back Barbell Wrist Curl
Target: 3 sets - reps: 16/14/14
Actual: 3 sets - reps: 16/14/14 weight: 15/20/30?
Okay, I did this with the EZ Curl Bar. It looks like this:
Last week, when I tried to do these wrist curls in front of me while seated on a bench, I realized I simply could NOT lift a 45-lb barbell with only my wrists. I failed at rep 1. So I switched out the barbell for dumbbells and continued on the best I could. This time I saw this bar sitting over under the rack of weights and thought I'd give it a try. It's much lighter than the regular barbells (my online research says anywhere from 15-25 pounds...this one was pretty dang light, so I'm guessing ours is on the low end). Finally, something I wasn't failing at! Finally, something to which I could ADD weight! YAY! I loved this...didn't feel it in the forearms QUITE as much as I felt the ones last week, but I'd definitely do it again.
After my workout, I tried out a scoop of the Body Fortress Chocolate Whey Protein mix I got at Wal-Mart. Not bad. Gets some protein in me in a jam, especially when I didn't have time to eat before heading to practice. Kept me going for a little while until I went home.
But the problem with Monday? Late evening. Glee episodes on DVD. A box of Life Cinnamon cereal sitting beside me, a huge bowl, and me mindlessly chowing down. *sigh*
Now onto Tuesday (that's yesterday, for those of you keeping track). ;)
I found out from work that the promotion I've been waiting on will be official on Monday. It means a serious change in duties and a serious change in pay (in the right direction) so YAY! (I've been waiting on this for MONTHS!) I also went to the store and spent 16 bucks on a binder, dividers and highlighters for my VM script. (Crap! I so hate spending money now! *pouts* I especially hate the thrill I get in the moment I realize I have a REASON to spend money. *pouts more* I'm really working hard on saving and figuring out the finances, especially before this raise hits and I'm all caught up in the "I have more money, what should I do with it?!" madness. I'm trying to squelch that before it even becomes something I can regret later.)
I had a full day at work. A lot of nothing for weeks, and then BAM! Everything hits all at once and I'm rushing to finish up everything before the end of tomorrow so I don't have to come in this weekend and finish it before I start the new gig Monday. Stress!! I didn't even THINK on the way to the gym last night...thinking is DANGEROUS! I listened to different versions of my VM monologues just to get some takes on how different things can be done and that distracted me until I pulled up out front of the gym.
Last night's workout:
45ish minute Zumba class
(My instructor still has a very sore foot and is babying it like crazy. The regulars like me have been trying to help out where we can, but sometimes we simply forget the moves and what comes next. This is good training for me, though, if I want to become an instructor some day!)
Followed that up with this ST routine:
Target: 4 sets - 16/14/12/12
Actual: 4 sets - 16/14/12/12 - weight ADDED on EACH SIDE: 45/55/70/80
These look like this and this BY FAR is my FAVORITE machine! (Even if WebMD does have them on their list of the 9 LEAST effective exercises! :P It's more effective than sitting on my couch at home, Holmes!)
Now, there's quite the issue here. See, I SWEAR the PT girl at my gym told me the machine itself weighs 200 pounds WITHOUT weights. Research online is providing difficult as these muscle-heads on here keep going "Who cares what it weighs? Just add more weight until it's heavy." (No dope, Sherlock...but I'd LIKE to keep track of how much I'm LIFTING. Go drink a protein shake and do a bicep curl..you're not helping me here!) Now, some of the actual answers are putting it between 45 and 100 pounds...and I'm guessing my gym's is at least on the higher end there because, Dude! Sled is HEAVY! Took me forever to get the balls to add weight to the thing....now I'm on a roll! Anyhow, as for now, until I get my question answered, I'm just gonna make sure I make a note of how much weight I ADDED. (Dude, I was pumped last night thinking I lifted my body weight! -- 200 + 80(2) = 360, yo! -- now I'm all bummed out.. POOP!)
Single Machine Leg Curls
Target: 4 reps - sets: 16/14/12/12
Actual: 4 reps - sets: 16/14/12/10 (yes, on each leg) weight: 30/30/40/40
Aww! A chubby stickish/outliney drawing figure thing...
So I went from the machine I LOVE the most, to the MOST HATED machine EVAH! No, serious. This is evil torture for my knees. Just crawling in the thing makes me think "FML!" and I ALWAYS get a head rush..because unlike stickish/outliney drawing figure thing up there, my machine is at a slant, which means my head is always facing down and all the blood likes to RUSH up there all super-quick like and I start seeing stars and stuff. (Not really, I totally hate this machine so I'm completely overexaggerating the horrible experience..but I do get headaches sometimes and always get a head rush from it...) Anyhow, it also makes me feel weak and powerless and makes me want to punch it in the face until I realize it doesn't even have a face. I hope you understand what I'm really trying to say is - I hate this machine and my life would be complete WITHOUT it! Blech!
Incline Seated Calf Raises
Target: 4 sets - reps: 20/16/16/16
Actual: 4 sets - reps: 14/12/12/10 - weight: 50/60/60/70
Look for this at the gym...
No, I'm dead serious. It's the most twisted, evil, painful, FUN machine I've found yet. I don't like it more than my leg press, let's be honest here, but it's running a close third behind the inclined bench presses. And the Hubs quote of the week (so far, I guess) comes from this very machine... I told him it felt like I was on a see-saw... "Yeah," he said. "The see-saw from HELL!" *snort* My calves were pulsing and burning and trying to cramp up and I just kept going because it felt so weird, so fun, so...different. If felt like I wasn't doing ANYTHING, but my calves were screaming a different story. If you've got one...try it. Fo sho!
So what did I do after all that killer working out and making my body sweat? I gave in to Hubs' passing mention of Mexican for dinner. I could've smacked myself in the face. Anyhow, I just tried to be smart. Ordered Chicken Fajitas...ate a LOT of veggies on my tortillas and barely ate half of it before surrendering it to Hubs to finish off. I ate some chips, yes. But even though I joked that I needed a margarita to celebrate the promotion, I opted for a HUGE glass of water and I finished the whole thing off! (No, seriously, there glasses are huge!) Put it all in my tracker this morning and...gosh, oh gee...I'm still within my ranges. Not ideal (too much salt and I can never be too sure of the calorie counts from meals out) but it'll do, pig...it'll do. No binges on cereal or stupid crap like that. I went home and practiced my monologues and went to bed.
Tonight it's a Chest night! BA-DOW! *lol* They've only given me two things to do, so I generally like to add in abs on these nights. (I know the program says not to add anything, but I cannot see a ST schedule with NO MENTION of crunches or ab workouts ANYWHERE. WTF is that? Who TF does that? Uhm, excuse me! I'll have a side of six-pack abs with my perky boobies, please...mmmkaythanks!?)
Yeah, I'm in a weird mood today, if you haven't already noticed. I'm going to go back to work now and finish up as much as I can before 6pm...and at some point I might fit in some light reading:
Oh, and where's that State Farm lady with the hot tub? My arms and legs officially hate me. I'm sore everywhere. I can't stop smiling though...it's the weirdest thing. I have to remind myself to stand/sit up straight because it hurts so much. My arms feel like rocks one minute and jello the next. I think I might die every time I raise my arm to reach something, or scratch my nose, or even put on my coat. And yet, through it all, I can't stop thinking about what's next. It doesn't hurt in a bad way. It's strange how I can be super sore and yet think, "Okay, that was good, what next?" Who am I? What am I becoming? Is this about to get old? Will I burn out? Am I resting enough? I'm giving the program a chance. The scale is mean and not moving, but I feel those muscles there and I see them, actually SEE them getting bigger and stronger. And I do freak out sometimes about "bulking up" even though I know it's a lie, but I still have my moments. And then there are times, like this morning, when I'm sitting on the bed and everything hurts, and the thought of even attempting to put on my pants is a challenge I'm just not ready to face, and I stretch and I feel the soreness and I whince, and then I look down casually at the bed, thinking about sleeping some more and how great that would be, and I see it...that bump...three of them actually...actual sections of my arm disconnected from one another, no longer just a lump connected to my shoulder, but something that moves and works and has pain and gets through it and keeps pushing. And I smile and have the strength, somehow, to get through my day. I've had more energy than I've ever had and more soreness (and I want to say pain, but it rarely is...though my right arm is twinged just a bit) than ever too. It's a strange thing, this body making business. And all I can think to myself is, "Sore is your body's way of saying 'Thank you for your hard work.'"