I will not let a pants size get the best of me!
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Today I realized that I am down to 3 pairs of work pants that fit. And of those 3, the hem fell out of one pair and I broke the zipper today on another pair. Yikes! And since I am not likely to lose the 10lbs I would need to in order fit into some of my smaller pants overnight, I decided it was probably time to get some new pants tonight.
After realizing that size 16's were no longer going to fit, I am not sure if I felt more motivated or defeated... but I'm leading more towards defeated. I am .8lbs from being right back where I started. Starting over again.
Sometimes I feel so far away from my goals. I feel like I'm never going to get there. Last week I caught myself thinking that maybe I should just learn to accept myself at this size and make the best of it. For a second, I wondered if I should just give up. I feel ashamed that I have tried so many things and ended up right back where I started.
I am ashamed to even be writing this blog... another ode to my struggles and failures.
3 months and 32lbs ago I felt like maybe I could get there. Now I'm not so sure.
But, the point is, I am going to keep trying. Even if I fail 100 more times, maybe that 101 time I will be successful. I will not be a quitter and I will not give up on myself.