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You are about to see me be awesome!

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

How many of us are struggling? Yeah, I know some of you out there raised your hands. Even though not a soul was there to see you right? Me too. I hid the scale the other day, well no that's not accurate... I had my husband hide the scale the other day. Why? Because that darn number just refuses - flat out REFUSES to move!

And that just was frustrating as all get out. Demoralizing would probably be a better word, I very seriously considered just giving up.

"I won't ever lose the weight! I'll be 375 pounds for the rest of my life, never buying clothes in a normal store and wearing Muumuus when I reach the age of 30".

...Yeah I really said that outloud.

Not many people know that I restarted college this past month. One of the first classes I'm required to take is a speech class. Now I've never really had a problem with public speaking, as I'm sure you've all gathered by my video blogs, so I really thought this would be the easiest A I ever got in a class. The professor then told us what the subject of our first speech will be.

Goals.

I froze like a deer in the headlights. Sure I could talk about graduating college again, but how does a 28 year old woman stand up in front of 18 year olds and talk about going back to college and STILL not having any idea what she wants to do? Money's always an issue and a goal, but that's not really concrete either. "I want more money" can't really be stretched into 5 minutes. So what does that really leave?

Well crap.

So I sat down and I started on my outline for my Weight Loss Goals speech. Then last night, I wrote my rough draft. Talk about the hardest rough draft I have ever written in my life. I'm still not entirely happy with it. I looked around the classroom and realized there is not a single person in there that will truly understand what I'm trying to say. That will truly understand the struggle of being a woman over 400 pounds. And thank god, really. I would never want someone else to go through that. But how do I convey that message?

Well... I think I have a good idea as to how. And in about 2 weeks you're going to get to see that speech because a requirement is that we have to video record these suckers. Writing this speech helped to re-energize me... and the words of a dear friend helped pushed me back over that edge of motivation.

Trust me y'all. You are about to see me be awesome!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CELEST
    Just saw the speech....amazing and very motivating.
    2266 days ago
  • DTYUNGU
    Cant WAIT to watch the speech!
    3129 days ago
  • FUSCHIA6
    Good for you! I dream of making a presentation at work. A lunch & learn. I even have a topic - organ donation. Some day. It's on my bucket list! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3129 days ago
  • CIRANDELLA
    As someone who just saw the video, I'm blown away by your energy, focus, creativity and sheer natural talent! Hope you don't mind if I "friend" you; I'm one pound away from my goal (after losing roughly 65 lbs.) and find you tremendously inspiring!
    3130 days ago
  • ROSEMARDORF
    Really enjoyed your blog!! I hope your speech was great. Good for you!!
    3131 days ago
  • COACH_NICOLE
    Wow, I am really impressed by this. Sharing your weight-loss goals so publicly and with a group of strangers is no small feat. I think that'll be a great step to take, and maybe it'll help with accountability for you, too. I'm sure you'll do great!
    3178 days ago
  • MISSYGEEN
    Did you see me raise my hand at the beginning of your blog? O r maybe you saw pump my fist at the end when I found out you would video tape it? I like others can't wait to see you be awesome. Know that your spark friends are behind you, cheering you on.
    3180 days ago
  • KARIN1972
    Awesome! I can't wait to see it!

    Just remind those 18-year olds that a goal is truly not a 'goal' if it is easy to obtain. Sure - you are all there with a goal of graduating college. BUT everyone has something that may be a bit scary to face or where there is a little voice in their head saying they can't do it. It is when we face those obstacles to achieve something where it is truly a goal to be proud of!

    For those kids in your class that scary goal may not be weight but maybe being themselves without fear of rejection, trusting someone completely where they may put themselves in a vulnerable position, or simply going against what their parents/family/friends expect of them to carve their own path in life.

    Go forth and spread the Spark!
    3182 days ago
  • BLESSEDGIGI
    Can't wait to see the video. You are already awesome. emoticon emoticon
    3182 days ago
  • MISJOSIE
    You are awesome every day, but we are all looking forward to watching you kick butt! emoticon
    3182 days ago
  • MORNINGANGEL513
    I can't wait to see you be awesome!!! I know you'll be encouraging to those kids, and if you're not - well, you'll be encouraging to me!!!!!!!!!!
    3183 days ago
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