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I hate my naked body but . . .

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I love the way I look in clothes. I weigh 159 today. I never thought I would see the 150's again in my life. I had weight loss surgery - RNY - in August of 2009. My goal was 170. Both my surgeon and my family doctor thought that was a good weight for me.
It took awhile to get to 170, but then I pushed harder and now I am very happy with my weightloss. I wear size 10 jeans and medium sweaters that make me look very skinny with their body hugging closeness. The jeans make my butt look fab. I can walk into a store and pick up size 12 dress slacks and know that they will fit!
I am not bragging, I am expressing gratitude to God that he made this possible. A year and a half ago, I didn't think I would be walking any more. I needed a cane because my knees hurt so bad. One is full of calcium spurs and the "good" one gave out one day doing stairs. I pulled a bunch of things that shouldn't be pulled and bruised things that should never be bruised. But I can walk again. Praise God. I can do my gazelle and even the eliptical and bike without knee pain. Thigh pain, yes as I use muscles that were so long unused, but no knee pain.
Back to the naked body. I hate looking in the mirror in the morning when I get into the shower and dress. So much loose wrinkly skin. I need to come up with a positive thing to say instead of looking at my boobs which look like something out of an old National Geographic magazine. You know the ones the flat hanging, tuck them in your belt kind of boobs. Good thing my husband likes the way I look naked and is very supportive, cuz I doubt that plastic surgery is in the cards for me. But thank you God for my weight loss. Thank you that I can sit on things I used to be afraid would not support my weight. Thank you that I don't have to be embarrassed that my big hind end might knock something over. Thank you that my hips and thighs are slim now and I never thought they could be. Thank you God that my insurance paid for surgery. Thank you God that I am healthy now!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the skin issue. That is one of the things that almost kept me from having the surgery. It is still one of the things that I am concerned about. But I guess, no, I know that focusing on health is more important. With people like you that are honest with sharing your feelings and how you have chosen on the focus of health, it helps people like me not to stress about what is to come.
    Congrats on your successful journey. Keep up the good work!
    Here's to health!!
    3655 days ago
    I say...look in the mirror and embrace yourself, dear! You have accomplished something sooo wonderful and difficult. YOU did this!
    I am so very happy for you! I bet you are smiling all of the time...aren't ya?? It is simply wonderful!

    Suz :)
    3717 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1315172
    Hubby made a comment after I lost the 100 pounds in 2009 about the skin hanging and I said it was better hanging then filled with all that fat! It didn't bother him but he thought it was bothering me! What a sweetheart!
    3717 days ago
    Congratulations on reaching your goal and maintaining. Just don't look in the mirror without your clothes--I avoid it!
    3717 days ago
    Fantastic, emoticon on your weight loss my goal is 148-150 I'm at 171 seem to fluxuate between 169-171 I cannot wait till spring as I will ppound the pavement once again. Looking to lose that last 20 pounds,Your doing great. Praise be to God!!
    3728 days ago
  • AEB060905
    You have come such an amazingly long way!! Be proud of yourself!!!!!!!!

    3730 days ago
    3730 days ago
    Congratulations on your weight loss!

    Everyone has insecurities about their body. It's so great that your husband is so supportive--you have nothing to worry about.

    And girl, you look darn good in your clothes!
    3730 days ago
    3730 days ago
    I am so happy you are healthy and getting healthier by the second.

    That is an awesome accomplishment.

    Yay you!!

    3730 days ago
    Praise God for the good things. I have been unhappy with saggy skin issues but some have improved with time. I went through a couple of phazes with creams and lotions that were supposed to help but not sure they did. Made the saggy skin soft. One thing that has helped with the bust situation was working hard to build up my pectoral muscles (think chest flies) they provide some support for the sag and it has helped.
    3732 days ago
  • KMIRANDA2000
    I could've written that blog...love the way I look in clothes, but not so much naked. I want to have all the loose hanging sking removed once I get to 150, but I need to work harder to get there. Thank you for sharing. Oh, and thank you for the words of encouragement on my stressful blog yesterday. I'm going to re-read it often.

    3732 days ago
    What a great feeling!!! Can't wait to see my goal results! Congratulations!!! emoticon
    3732 days ago
    Congratulations on the accomplishment! emoticon

    3732 days ago
  • JMAGEE8871
    What a great post and remember you may not always feel this way. It took me years after surgery to learn to love my body naked. I just had to find what I loved about it. I love my collar bones, the muscles in my arms and the fact that I have hip bones. The rest? I don't hate any of it and know that it is a reminder of how far I have come and how much more life I get to live because of the gift of surgery.
    3732 days ago
    Deborah, it may be of little consolation to you but I'd be grateful that I looked wonderful in clothes and be happy that the only person that is likely to see me naked is happy too!
    3732 days ago
  • CATLADY_56
    My highest weight was 327. I was 265 when I had my surgery.
    3732 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4519295
    Yeah to better health. That is more important than how you look without clothes.
    3732 days ago
    Congratulations on your weight loss and looking good clothed. I think most of us look better in clothes, especially if we know how to choose flattering styles.
    3732 days ago
    I agree that being able to walk again is worth having saggy skin. I too am scared of having breast that do not look like breasts anymore, but I know that I WILL pay for plastic surgery one day. My mom lost 120 pounds and had a tummy tuck and breast implants/lift for only $6600 at the plastic surgery school. I know that in about 2 years I can use my income tax refund to pay for it....but even if I don't how exiting to look good in clothes and FEEL healthy! What weight did you start at?
    3733 days ago
    I had weight loss surgery back in 1986. I got down to 140 but like you I still had the saggy skin. Now that I'm older I have sagging breasts to match. I made the mistake of gaining most of mine back but I am on my way to taking it off again. I too have a supportive husband that loves me naked even with the extra weight. Good job on the loss.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3733 days ago
    Just stay focused on all those positives! A lot of successful people here; none of us truly have everything! Many of us make the best of what we have. Glad to see you counting your blessings! Congratulations on your new life! Joy
    3733 days ago
  • ASHLEE624
    What an awesome accomplishment! Congratulations!!
    3733 days ago
  • no profile photo MADDIE10281
    God Bless You, and remember we serve a God that can do exceeding, abundantly above all that we ask, think or imagine
    3733 days ago
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