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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I haven't blogged in a while...heck, I hadn't really even logged in until recently. I could write a novel about where I went and why...but I don't guess that really is important and all that matters is that I'm back.
Why is it so hard to log in and participate, but so easy to just...skip a day, then a week...?
I had the most obscure dream last night. I remember going for a walk down the road that Bryce and I walk when I'm exercising. Everything was fine until I realized that nothing was changing. It just kept going, with no end and I panicked. Started running thinking I'd get to the end...but that end never came.
Woke up in a sweat...so does that count as my cardio for the day? No? Worth a shot. I don't usually dream that often, but when I do watch out because its sometimes more vivid than my life when I'm awake.
So whatever that dream was supposed to mean....
Things in my life are changing. I've been a stay at home mommy for the past year, but now I'm headed back to the working world. I had my first interview a few days ago and they hired me. I'm excited, but also a bit sad because I don't know how ready I am to leave the little one. He's been my entire life for the past year. I KNOW he'll be fine (my sister is keeping him in our home for me) but it'll be hard for me. Its for the best though. The other issue is that I've been home for so long I've almost forgotten how to interact with people. I literally only leave the house every 2 weeks for grocery shopping (or to walk)...and I'm always with my husband. I haven't been anywhere on my own in over a year. Its kinda scary...which i never thought I'd say because I used to be the most independant thing you'd ever know. Makes me wonder just how much of "Myself" is even left...

So yeah, things are changing. Change scares the hell out of me, but I think it will be a good thing. Gotta be better than the way things have been.

Wish me luck.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I can't thank all of you enough for being there for me. Sometimes just logging in here can make my entire day better. Barbara, D, Nikki..you three have been a constant for me and I hope you know that you guys have (knowingly or unknowingly) pulled me out of some messed up frames of mind.
    (Barbara don't worry about not being able to comment immediately...I know you have alot going on, and whether you are able to comment or not, I know you read...and that's enough girl.)
    3474 days ago
    see now... THIS is what this community is all about... look at how these people have all come together to support you... I'm so proud of all of them.

    I saw this blog shortly after you posted it and I'm just so wore out that I couldn't come up with the right words... I KNOW that you'll be okay, and your little one will be good with the changes too... but that day I just couldn't get the eloquent words in the box. But look at how fantastic our friends have responded!!!

    I thank God every day for the people around here... including you... I felt so bad not being able to respond when I read your blog the first time because you are one of the people here that I have adopted as Spark Family... so it is such a relief to see everyone else responding when I fell down on the job... love this community...

    ~ be good to yourself
    ~ thank you Spark Family for being good to our 'sister' Trisha
    ~ Barbara
    3476 days ago
    I don't blame you at all for being scared. I'd be depressed and doubtful as well. You're a great mother and feeling that way about leaving your little boy, even in the great hands of your sister, is totally understandable.

    Please don't beat yourself up about not being on here more. Sure, you want that success but you've got some HUGE life changes brewing. You'll get back to this. Right now I hope you enjoy being with your boy the next week and getting ready for your new job -- I know you'll do great.

    Congratulations and hang in there girlfriend. And please tell me anytime I can help, even if by lending an ear.

    Love, Nikki
    3476 days ago
    WOO HOO - so good to see you back here:) The first day or 2 might be hard but I am sure pretty quickly you will be back into it and enjoying being out there - well more out there than you are anyways emoticon
    3477 days ago
    Thank you both! I start Feb 1st ;)
    3477 days ago
    Congratulations on your new job. When do you start? Change is good and exciting.
    3477 days ago
    Good Luck! You will be just fine I'm sure!
    3477 days ago
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