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A reminder of why I keep on keepin' on.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Well...as positive & upbeat as yesterday's status was, the day quickly turned to sh*t. As some know, my Mom fell about midnight on Mon & Shayne & I went & got her up & in bed. As I was starting my workout Tue morn, I get a call from my Aunt (they live together) saying Mom feels she needs to go to the hospital which pretty much tells me she's in pain bad if she WANTS to go. She can't walk let alone get down the 5 porch steps so they call in like 4 add'l fire fighters & get her on this tarp thing with handles to carry her out (yep, Mom's a big lady but the crazy/scary thing is she's only 15#s more than me). She's crying out in pain (even the morphine in the hospital didn't take it all away), peeing everywhere (fairly incontinent at this time) & apologizing repeatedly. And that was just at the house. Needless to say, the day did not improve much.
She IS okay. They took X-rays & no broken bones. It's always amusing to see how amazed the Dr.s & techs are when they do see her X-rays. It's pretty much bone on bone @ the knee. BUT, she can't get knee surgery cuz of her heart & can't risk the heart until she loses weight & she does not care to lose weight...and there is my Mom's viscous cycle & my motivation. The whole time I was at the hospital I was thinking, 'This is why I keep on keepin' on. I may not lose weight but I never want to be to that point.' My mom didn't make it better by saying I have bad knees like her. When I disagreed she said hers weren't bad in her 40s either. But I am WAY more active than she EVER was. I do TurboFire & Zumba for crap's sake! (But it still scared me.)
And the worst thing is, I'm finding it hard to be sympathetic. Due to the regularity of her problems & the fact that she does nothing about it, I'm starting to become apathetic. And I don't like the way that makes me feel. I think the 1st step there is try to get a little more of God in my life because I'm just becoming too self-concerned & negative.
Well, didn't really intend to write a 'blog' but thanks for being there & listening & understanding when no one else does.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ANGIEF09
    I am so sorry you had such a rough day yesterday. I know it's hard to see our Mom's in pain especially when they don't want to do anything about getting healthy. You are lucky tho, your Mom is still with you mabye this will have scared her into getting healthy. My Mom waited too long and I lost her 7 months ago because she didn't look after herself.

    On another note, you are not being selfish saying you don't want to be like her. I said the same thing over and over and I now am doing something about that.
    My daughter and I both use that same quote "Keep on keeping on". Stick by that and you will succeed we are all here to help and support you.

    When I lost my Mom last June I went thru a couple month depression where I stopped working out and watching what I was eating, and luckily (not sure if it's cause my metablolism changed) but I only gaine a few pounds back that I had already lost. Well now I am back on track and more determined to do it the "right" way.

    Good luck to you and I do hope your Mom gets healthy. Here for you anytime
    Angie emoticon
    3605 days ago
  • LISAW/3
    I'm sorry to hear about your mom's struggles, but I understand everything you're saying, from the motivation to the apathy.
    You are doing great by being there with her and helping her the best you can, but you are right that you can't make her take better care of herself. But you can take better care of yourself and that's exactly what you have been doing!
    Keep up the Zumba and Turbo Jam. Even if the pounds aren't leaving, you are still making yourself healthier!
    3605 days ago
    Wow! What a tough day! I do know it is hard to be sympathetic, when it appears that the person does not care about themselves. I have a similar situation in my life. But -- we all know it is not easy, and unfortunately, some folks seem to just give up.

    Do not let that get in your way. Use it to give you the strength to pursue your goals. Take a look, as you did, and remember how much happier you are active and healthy and hang it there. (I know, talk is cheap and it really is harder to do than to say it!!) But SP is here to help you up when you fall down. We all want a healthier life and we all are learning, together, how to get there.

    Hang in there!!

    Joy emoticon
    3606 days ago
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