My story... My weight gain.. My struggles
Sunday, January 09, 2011
I was 17 years old and sitting in my guidance counselors office waiting for my pregnancy test to show either negative or positive, we were just chatting away not a care in the world, i didn't even think i was but something inside me said take a test... 3-5 mins later my counselor turns to me and said "Tiffany your pregnant" OMG i didn't know what to do, what to think i just sat there for what seemed like an eternity in silence and shock!
shortly after the shock wore off i cried, and i cried allot, i thought my life was over; how could i be pregnant i was on the pill, my parents are going to kill me!
They didn't kill me i am still alive to tell the story, but many tears and heartache were shared, and when i told the father of the baby he was somewhat supportive and went to the dr appointments with me... soon after i found out that my family was being posted to Ontario, i would be moving and he would be staying so i asked him what we were going to do and that is when my world fell apart, he started denying the baby saying he was not the father and i knew it was a lie but what was i supposed to do, so to make a long story short i moved, had the baby and graduated high school as planned and was a single mom going to college and working full time. With no time for me i gained 60lbs just eating whatever i could, or what was cheaper so my son could have what he needed to grow up strong and healthy.
2 years after i had my son i met my ex husband we dated for a bit he moved in within a few months and we were pregnant within 7mnth of being together. So we decided to get married..... BIG MISTAKE!! ( that's another story all on it's own) a few months after that my daughter was born. I had to have a c-section because she was a breech and was unable to do any physical activity for 6 weeks afterwards plus some because of complications. With that pregnancy i only gained 25lbs i was very careful and proud but i was now at my heaviest over 200lbs
With the stress of my marriage and my ex husband being deployed overseas for 7 months i just kept going up on the scale and i had officially lost myself.
It has been 6 years since my daughter was born and i am now down to 184lbs with still allot more to lose, I am no longer with my husband. I met my Boyfriend while at boot camp where we both injured ourselves and were being sent home and we became fast friends. After my marriage fell apart he was my rock, my best friend and helped me get back on my feet again. He is a naturally thin guy which makes me feel like a lump on a log when i am out with him but he loves me for every roll and cranny on my body and i thank god he does.
But i don't love myself this way and i am sick of questioning why he chose me when there are tons of other beautiful thin women out there, i want to be grateful for what i have and who i have become.
Which brings me here! I am ready to change my life for the better, i am ready to stop making excuses and just do it!! so there you have it my life ups and downs in a nutshell and the weight that has followed me throughout the last 10 years of my life.
I am ready to let go and move on with my life as a healthy happy independent woman, and learn to love myself.