Friday, December 31, 2010
This is a blog entry I wrote in 2010. I was reading it and realized I have really come a long way. I am not there yet and I am sure I will never be, because as long as I live there will always be something you need to work on. I am sharing this with you because maybe it can encourage you to believe in yourself, and be patient.
I've been going deep within doing some serious soul searching lately. I realize now that my problem is not food but fear. Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear had me focused on what I shouldn't eat, when I had the ability to just choose healthy foods. I knew exactly what healthy eating was, there was nothing mysterious about that. (We always have to make things more complicated than they really are). I was always so wraped up in what I should'nt do, there was no room in my brain to accept the fact, that I could just eat healthy. It really is not that big of a deal. I allowed fear to speak negative thoughts to me like, what are you doing this for, you know you will fail, you know if you loose it, you'll put it back on. So what happened, I failed. I believe that you manifest your most dominant thoughts, either conciously or unconciously. Fear allowed me to believe I would be defeated at some point in my intended efforts. Fear in one area of your life will create fear in other areas of your life. Fear tells you nothing good about yourself. At times fear had me defeated before I even got started. It can stop you dead in your track. Fear has prevented me from believing that God has given me everything I need to be successful in all areas of my life. I just needed to have FAITH, it's just that simple. As women it seems to be easier to think negative of ourselves, before we dare think something positive of ourselves. I know that I am my biggest critic, because the things I have said to myself, about myself, were ungodly. If someone else were to say those things to me, I would have been devastated. Even when I worked out intensely, fear said "not enough", so I would end up exercising to long and to hard. The end result would sometimes be injury,or extreme soreness. Again defeated because fear would say, I told you so, you just need to give it up for a while. Then I would go long periods of time without exercising because I couldn't or just wouldn't. I decided today to RELEASE any and all fear from my life. I have the right to believe in ME!! I have the right to live a healthy, joyous, abundant and prosperous life. There have been a lot of victories in my life, no matter how small I may think they are, they are still my victiories. Today I celebrate my life with love and enthusiasm. Please, all of my Spark friends, celebrate yourself, you are worth every bit of it. God has a glorious plan for each and every one of our lives. Live in the moment and be grateful for it, because your time here on earth is precious. Make every moment count.