Mind has caught up with body
Thursday, December 30, 2010
It's weird, but I finally think my mind has caught up with my weight. I reached my lowest of 142 back in the middle of May (highest was 209 lbs Sept. 2009). Since then I have pretty much maintained around 150, give or take 5-7 lbs. I am a size 8-10 in pants and a M or some L's in tops.
Lately I no longer gasp when I see myself in the mirror and think: "WOW I am a skinny! Who is that girl?" I no longer feel out of place when I go shopping in regular size clothing stores and think that people are looking at me, rolling their eyes going: "*SHE* thinks she's an 8????" I proudly put on my compression running pants and run all over my neighborhood without any inhibition--- I think the people that are staring at me are thinking "look how FIT she is!" My weight and my size just feel normal to me now. I am not even concerned about the last 10-20 lbs I should lose. I just feel really good where I am at now.
It feels good to finally feel this way. I am going to take next year--- 2011--- and put the focus on my fitness and take it off weight-loss. I have been bitten hard by the running bug and I want to really kick it up a notch. I am registered for 2 half marathons already this year and I am eyeing another 2. I bought a Runner's journal for 2011 yesterday and I am excited to use that and track how many miles I run this year.
I am also going to focus on strength training. I am going to attempt the Shred as often as possible. I hate committing to the 30 days in a row because inevitably something comes up and I break my streak and I want to quit altogether. But I *do* feel some serious results when I do it.
New Year's day I am taking a huge step out of my comfort zone and meeting up with some other local runners who are going to run the trail of the HM I am running on Jan 22nd just as a "no frills" trial run. I am horribly anti-social and I have those little nasty thoughts creeping into my head about how they will all probably laugh at me and my lack of experience and my slow run/walk/run method of running... But that is *stupid* and I know that. That is why I am not letting fear stop me from going out and doing this. I spent too long saying "I CAN'T!!!!!" and I am going to just do it and see how I feel. At least I will know I tried and didn't sit cowered in a corner because of silly insecurities.
Looking forward to a great year!