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Mind has caught up with body

Thursday, December 30, 2010

It's weird, but I finally think my mind has caught up with my weight. I reached my lowest of 142 back in the middle of May (highest was 209 lbs Sept. 2009). Since then I have pretty much maintained around 150, give or take 5-7 lbs. I am a size 8-10 in pants and a M or some L's in tops.

Lately I no longer gasp when I see myself in the mirror and think: "WOW I am a skinny! Who is that girl?" I no longer feel out of place when I go shopping in regular size clothing stores and think that people are looking at me, rolling their eyes going: "*SHE* thinks she's an 8????" I proudly put on my compression running pants and run all over my neighborhood without any inhibition--- I think the people that are staring at me are thinking "look how FIT she is!" My weight and my size just feel normal to me now. I am not even concerned about the last 10-20 lbs I should lose. I just feel really good where I am at now.

It feels good to finally feel this way. I am going to take next year--- 2011--- and put the focus on my fitness and take it off weight-loss. I have been bitten hard by the running bug and I want to really kick it up a notch. I am registered for 2 half marathons already this year and I am eyeing another 2. I bought a Runner's journal for 2011 yesterday and I am excited to use that and track how many miles I run this year.

I am also going to focus on strength training. I am going to attempt the Shred as often as possible. I hate committing to the 30 days in a row because inevitably something comes up and I break my streak and I want to quit altogether. But I *do* feel some serious results when I do it.

New Year's day I am taking a huge step out of my comfort zone and meeting up with some other local runners who are going to run the trail of the HM I am running on Jan 22nd just as a "no frills" trial run. I am horribly anti-social and I have those little nasty thoughts creeping into my head about how they will all probably laugh at me and my lack of experience and my slow run/walk/run method of running... But that is *stupid* and I know that. That is why I am not letting fear stop me from going out and doing this. I spent too long saying "I CAN'T!!!!!" and I am going to just do it and see how I feel. At least I will know I tried and didn't sit cowered in a corner because of silly insecurities.

Looking forward to a great year!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • GOGOMAMA
    I love how you have been working on your thinking about yourself! You are doing so well and have come a long way in being encouraging, accepting, and loving of yourself!!! Way to go!
    3816 days ago
  • KANSASROSE67
    I know what you mean. I have a friend who runs and wants me to enter a couple of 10Ks with her. But I'm just afraid of not being fast enough or "in" enough with the running clique. I know that's silly and I need to get over it. Best wishes!
    3817 days ago
  • JLITT62
    It's funny, 20 years ago if we'd taken up running, the whole laughing at you thing might've been true. But now the running community is so supportive!

    I will be running tomorrow too, barring some sort of disaster today. I don't worry about the social aspect of it, even tho I'll know no one, even tho I'm very shy. Yesterday the thought suddenly crept into my head "what if everyone is doing the HM & I'm the only one doing the 3 1/2 miles?". I'm sure that's not the case, but you know how weird our minds can be!
    3818 days ago
  • IBSHAUN
    Great focus and great goals! Thanks for giving me something to think about. emoticon
    3819 days ago
  • FITCOFFEEMOM357
    2011 is YOUR YEAR!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3819 days ago
  • CKAYT56
    Maybe there will be runners just like you who are new at it. Stick your neck out and go for it! I am so glad you are used to your new body! It is a hard thing to get used to. Have a great weekend and New Year's Eve!
    3819 days ago
  • SKFEREBEE
    You CAN do it and you WILL do it! emoticon
    3819 days ago
  • 55TUCKER
    It sounds like you are doing soooo well. 2011 will be a great year and you are already setting terrific goals and staying positive and motivated. Wishing the best in the new year!
    3819 days ago
  • BALANCEDLIFE4ME
    Woo hoo! Get yourself out there! There is an amazing network of runners out there that run for the fun/social aspect as much as they do for their health. Not everyone is trying to beat a time!Knowing and doing what works for you is so so important. Keep it positive!
    3819 days ago
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