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LAUREL220

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The need to feel heard at work

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Today isn't a bad day, but it's not a good day either. I need to say some things "out loud," but I don't know who I want to say them to. So, time for a blog.

I feel like people aren't "hearing me" recently. It's mostly at work. I'm almost ready to stop trying because it feels useless anyway, but I know I can't. The boss might have a question for us all on the team, for example, and I may be the person who (sometimes) knows the answer. So I will answer to all if I know that particular answer. I make sure to explain the answer clearly. Maybe it's my timing, but it seems like my boss glosses over while pretending to listen. But apparently no one hears me. Then later someone else might figure it out and answer it too. But...wait...I already answered that! And then my boss acts like the other person is the smartest person on the planet. I actually think she has something against me if you want to know the truth. I try to act like I don't know she has something against me, but I am fairly in tune with things like that, and I can feel it. We have an intra-departmental rotation program between teams in operations and she is always giving me trivial excuses why I can't do it.

Well, we are getting a new boss pretty soon. I have mixed feelings about it, but I know who she is, and she seems good. However, I'm worried that my boss might tell her all sorts of untrue rubbish about me.

Sigh...what life lesson do I need to learn out of this? Am I acting like a know-it-all? Do I need to learn that I am a valuable human being even if no one else thinks so? Do I need to learn to deal with disappointment or rejection better? I just want to be heard. Don't pretend to listen to me...REALLY listen to me! I try to give others my undivided attention when they speak to me. I know it's hard, but I would like to receive that in return.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TMACOOL
    NOBODY LISTENS TO ME AT WORK EITHER SO I JUST KEEP TO MYSELF AND STAY OUT OF TROUBLE. I'M A TEAM OF 1 ITS NOT HEALTHY BUT IF THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP MYSELF HAPPY THEN I DO IT. GOOD LUCK. I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

    3857 days ago
  • KWEENIE777
    You are such an awesome woman! Obviously, your "boss" like most, want to micro manage everyone, they don't really want input, they just throw out questions to make others feel dumb. However since you are answering her questions, you put a kink in her agenda. She is problematic, not you, so, let it go, wish her the best as she goes bye bye. The new boss, will see by your actions that you are a team player and are not a know-it-all, but you do want to be involved and contribute to your meetings or interactions with him/her. One thing I have learned is that, less is best. If you have something to say or an idea, state it, without all the facts or explanations, unless you are asked to elaborate. You are just too ahead of your time for the slowpokes. You are an amazing person! No one has the power to make you feel any certain way, unless you allow them to by giving them that power. Hugs!

    Angelina
    3858 days ago
  • BRIARROSE30
    Laurel, you are so right. It's not giving listening if your glossing over and not actually paying attention to the person talking! Just try watching TV while your playing a game with your kids - it makes mine irate!

    I'm sure you are in tune with what is going on exactly. Do you think she feels threatened by you? It's been my experience that some boss's are extremely threatened by those that seem smarter or more capable then them. They don't want to be one-uped whether it's for respect, pride, or job security reasons. Sadly I have been through it and know quite a few others who have too.

    Be glad your getting a new boss, and play it cool. Don't bring anything up because what will end up happening is you either confirm what the old boss said, or end up making the new boss form opionons that weren't there to begin with. The best way to disprove lies and accusations is to live it down. I also think you should let your new boss know that you haven't been in the rotation, and ask if she knows why. You might get some answers there. Just don't be accusatory or it will backfire!

    I hear you Laurel and wish you all the best! emoticon
    3867 days ago
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