The need to feel heard at work
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Today isn't a bad day, but it's not a good day either. I need to say some things "out loud," but I don't know who I want to say them to. So, time for a blog.
I feel like people aren't "hearing me" recently. It's mostly at work. I'm almost ready to stop trying because it feels useless anyway, but I know I can't. The boss might have a question for us all on the team, for example, and I may be the person who (sometimes) knows the answer. So I will answer to all if I know that particular answer. I make sure to explain the answer clearly. Maybe it's my timing, but it seems like my boss glosses over while pretending to listen. But apparently no one hears me. Then later someone else might figure it out and answer it too. But...wait...I already answered that! And then my boss acts like the other person is the smartest person on the planet. I actually think she has something against me if you want to know the truth. I try to act like I don't know she has something against me, but I am fairly in tune with things like that, and I can feel it. We have an intra-departmental rotation program between teams in operations and she is always giving me trivial excuses why I can't do it.
Well, we are getting a new boss pretty soon. I have mixed feelings about it, but I know who she is, and she seems good. However, I'm worried that my boss might tell her all sorts of untrue rubbish about me.
Sigh...what life lesson do I need to learn out of this? Am I acting like a know-it-all? Do I need to learn that I am a valuable human being even if no one else thinks so? Do I need to learn to deal with disappointment or rejection better? I just want to be heard. Don't pretend to listen to me...REALLY listen to me! I try to give others my undivided attention when they speak to me. I know it's hard, but I would like to receive that in return.